Latino guy on cell: Oh, she’s “tearing your heart out”? You’re a fucking faggot.
–Metropolitan & Union
Overheard by: Outmacked
Latino guy on cell: Oh, she’s “tearing your heart out”? You’re a fucking faggot.
–Metropolitan & Union
Overheard by: Outmacked
Tour guide with a thick accent: Alvight fovlks, vee are about to stop at the Bronx Soo. Anybovy vishing to see animalz need to get off.
Teenage girl #1 to her friend: I don't wanna see no damn Indians, do you?
Teenage girl #2: No, no, honey, not the Sioux. She was talking about the zoo.
Teenage girl #1: Ohhhhh.
–Uptown NY Tour Bus
Doctor (on cell): Hello Doctor…Just tell her to take more anti-depressants for God’s sake. I don’t know, tell her to take three. I’m with my kids for Father’s Day, OK?
–33rd Street and 6th Avenue
Overheard by: Christopher
Girl: I haven’t talked to her since she left for college. How is she?
Guy: I don’t know, man…I haven’t heard from her either, so I guess she’s just, like, decaying or whatever.
–80th & East End
Overheard by: Anne O.
Girl #1: I used to throw these really great parties and I invited this paraplegic guy who liked to do comedy routines. So he started his routine, and this fat lady runs up and starts grabbing his ass–
Girl #2: Was he funny?
Girl #1: Well, I don’t know, you know? He was just getting warmed up, and he kinda lost his flow when this woman started grabbing his ass and he couldn’t really stop her…I guess he was sort of funny.
–7th & Leroy
Guy: Happy Birthday!
Woman in Bday hat: Happy Birthday? I’m old enough to be your fucking mother. Wait, how the fuck old are you?
Guy: 30.
Woman: OK, maybe not, but old enough to be your father’s younger sister’s kid’s mother.
–outside Comic Strip Live, UES
Security guy: Ma’am, please step into the back of the store.
Chick: But why?
Security guy: Don’t make this harder on yourself.
Chick: But why?
Shopgirl: They do make it harder on themselves, don’t they?
Chick: Fuck you!
–Sephora, Spring & Broadway
Snooty alternative chick: So, for some reason I always get these creepy guys talking to me on the train. This one guy on the ride over here looked over at my iPod and I was listening to The Fall, right? And he’s like, ‘That’s an interesting song. It’s like punk, right?’ And so then he pulls out his iPod and starts trying to impress me with his shitty music list.
Alternative guy: What was on it?
Snooty alternative chick: Blink 182 and Good Charlotte and stuff… And it’s like, ‘Um, you’re a guy on the N train who started talking to me, you’re not gonna get in my pants… And you’re especially not gonna get in my pants if you don’t know who The Fall are! That’s totally a prerequisite.’
–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Pl
Guy: If I ever beat my kids during Christmas, this is the song I’d play.
–Ulysses, Pearl Street
Overheard by: Dennis Sugrue
Yarmulke man: Excuse me, where does this train go to?
Do-rag guy: Florida.
Yarmulke man: Florida? Texas? California?
Do-rag guy: Yep.
Yarmulke man: Okay! Good.
–6 train
Overheard by: Rachel
