Rude famous guy: Do you know who I am?!
Waitress: No… But I know your type…
–Blue Water Grill, Union Square
Overheard by: Martin
Rude famous guy: Do you know who I am?!
Waitress: No… But I know your type…
–Blue Water Grill, Union Square
Overheard by: Martin
Chick: You think I won’t step up and kick some nigga’s ass just because I’m a bitch? I’m bisexual. Yeah, I’m bisexual: I’m half bitch, half nigga.
–Q train
Overheard by: Reb Stu
One postal agent to other, speaking of the UPS agent nearby: Tell him to pick up all the heavy boxes, especially for the walk-ups.
–Bleecker street
Overheard by: Disco Lama
Man #1: There are no cute chicks here.
Man #2: Yeah.
Man #1: Let’s go some place else — my wife is working overnight at the hospital.
–ESPN Zone Sports Bar, Times Square
Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID.
–outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street
Overheard by: pb dot c
Two cop cars are after someone, heading downtown on Fourth Avenue, sirens going. One cop brakes abruptly and throws it into reverse and makes a backward left turn onto 86th Street, where a civilian is sitting in his car, waiting for the light to change. The cop car smashes into the front of the civilian’s car, and the cop announces on
his megaphone: Wake up, dildo!
–Bay Ridge
Dude: I mean, you don’t have to completely fall apart once your child dies.
Chick: Yeah, seriously.
–Prince St
Overheard by: Aniela
Maid of Honor, posing for wedding photos on the steps to the library: How about over there in front of the fountain?
Bride: No. She’s got naked boobies.
Maid of Honor: It’s art.
–New York Public Library
Overheard by: Jaydubjay
Crying hot chick: I don’t understand why you spent half the night telling me all the reasons you can’t be with me and then wanted to have sex with me anyway!
Douchebag: Uh, you were pretty… And naked.
–Houston & Allen
Heavyset guy: Hey, I don't mind telling you. I'm a psychopath. I don't give a fuck about people.
Woman in wheelchair-scooter: Mm-hmm. Oh, I know.
Heavyset guy: Yeah, I just I don't give a fuck. I'll be a psychopath till the day I die, and I don't even care. I'm not gonna lie about it.
–Lenox & 129th
