Hobo, eating a chicken kebab: I want me some pussy. I don’t care where it’s from. I just really want me some pussy to fuck. I wanna make her pussy go (sticks tongue out of mouth) pfffffffff.
Girl on street: Alright. That’s enough.

–W 4th & Broadway

Overheard by: KTandSheila

Girl: …so you injured your knee running cross‐country?
Guy: Yeah, right before the season starts, too…
Girl: So how long did it take you to run across the country?

–F train

Big black dude #1: You want to leave all the white women to me? That’s fine.
Big black dude #2: Oh, [laughs], I don’t have a problem getting white women. I’m half Indian and half Puerto Rican. I got that Boricua thing going.
Big black dude #1: Oh, shit. Well, I got Mexican in my family…
Smaller black dude: You part Mexican? Where were you born?
Big black dude #1: Well, I was born in Haiti, but I grew up in the Bronx, and my uncle recently married a Mexican.

–Changing room, Church St Boxing gym, Church & Park

Lady jogger #1: I don’t like jeans. I don’t think they’re comfortable.
Lady jogger #2: No?
Lady jogger #1: I mean, I wear them to work and all. But I’d rather wear a sweatsuit.

–Central Park

Jogger #1: I heard some really good advice the other day. Apparently, the key to life is running and reading.
Jogger #2: Who said that?
Jogger #1: I think it was either Will Smith or Barack Obama.

–E Train

Overheard by: Philips

David Letterman recruiter: Late show with David Letterman! Free tickets to David Letterman!
New York Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain: Letterman sucks!

–Time Square

Football player #1: Hold on, I’ve got to check and see if I have a package.
Football player #2: You know, most guys don’t have to check that.
(a few seconds pass)
Football player #1: Shut up.

–Broadway & 115th

Old man dressed in all red clothes to jogger passing by: Good morning!
Jogger: Good morning.
Old man: Want to wrestle? We can wrestle right over there.
Jogger: No, thanks.

–Riverside & 91st

Overheard by: Rocco

Sleazy biker, taking a bottle from marathon relief table: My mother always told me I should be bottle‐fed.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Uncomfortable volunteer

NYU student on cell, angrily: I was trying to show your mom a good time so I wouldn’t have to stick my dick in her again!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: chris k.

Guido on cell: So you fucked the mother *and* the daughter?

–23rd & 3rd

Guy to girl: Anything over 50 is a super milf!


Teen to friend: Cause I ain’t no full‐time mama. I’m a part‐time mama.

–Church & Chambers

Middle aged hipster with ponytail and gray streaked goatee: I’m a soccer mom!

–Times Square

Umpire: Foul ball. It hit her in the box.
Teammate of batter: No it didn’t, it hit her in the stomach.

–Riverside Park

Overheard by: Ramrod