Wednesday One-Liners Are My Anti-Drug

Hot black girl: Where did summer go? Now we're all back to wearing glasses and snorting Adderall… or taking it with water.

–24th St & 3rd Ave

Guy to friend: If I just gave up speed I'd totally be getting more ass.

–Bleecker & LaGuardia

Overheard by: Jack

Guy to another: Yeah, so you take a gram of coke, then mix it with a ground-up Xanax, then mash up an E. Then you put it all into pill form, and down it with a Sparks!

–N Train

Architecture professor: Everything in moderation… except for heroin. Heroin, you go for the gusto.

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Denali

Posted on November 22, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Backdoor, Black People, Cocaine, College, Compare/Contrast, Drinks, Drugs, Fashion, Friends, Girls, Guys, Heroin, Medicine, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Students, Teachers/Professors, The Village, Time, Weirdness

No Shit

Emo: Do you do anal?
JAP fox: Uh, no, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't do it, just hasn't come up yet.
Emo to another girl: Do you do anal?
Another girl: Bitch! I can't even take a shit.

–Special Boutique, 2nd & Bedford

Overheard by: Este

Posted on November 21, 2014
Backdoor, Girls, Insults, JAPs, Poop, Questions, Store, Teens, The Village

You Could Import Them

Salad wench: So, you got any kids?
Queer: Honey, what I do don’t make babies.

–Cosi, 6th & 42nd

Posted on November 7, 2014
Backdoor, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Queers, Sex

Rinse, Repeat

Teen girl #1: Wait, so you just let him do you in the butt? You let him sodomize you?
Teen girl #2: It wasn’t bad. I couldn’t shit for a few days, though. So I took some laxatives, then I shit myself in the mall yesterday.

–Liberty Island

Overheard by: binja

Posted on October 25, 2014
Backdoor, Malls, Poop, Sex, Teens, Tourist Attractions

That's Your Answer to Everything, Maria.

Crazy hobo: Marriage is for having children, and gay people never have children! Marriage is for sex, and gay people never have sex!
Latina: He needs to get fucked up the ass.

–7 Train

Overheard by: Ari

Posted on October 23, 2014
Ass, Backdoor, Crazies, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Hobos, Kids, Latinos, On the Subway, Pregnancy & Birth Control

Wednesday Takes It Up the One-Liner

Rotund black woman, to no one in particular: I like a hood nigga,. I like a nigga to dick me in the butt while I’m smoking a blunt.

–West Village

Loud Jamaican man yelling to friend: When I stick my penis up your butt, there ain’t no turnin’ back! You’re gonna have hemorrhoids!

–25th & 7th

Overheard by: Becka

Dude: … And then she wouldn’t even shake my hand. I mean, I’ve had my dick in your ass, and you won’t even shake my hand? What kind of shit is that?

–F train

Tween to friends: I told him, ‘If it don’t fit in my mouth, it won’t fit in my butt.’

–Bx9 bus, Kingsbridge Terrace

Overheard by: Krisztina

Angry student: He fucked me in the ass, okay? In the ass!

–NYU

Posted on October 20, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

They Meant the Show’s Ratings, Pervert!

Queer #1: That Joey guy is so hot.
Queer #2: Joey the bottom?
Queer #1: Yeah…

–4th Street & 1st Avenue

Overheard by: Mike M.

Posted on October 14, 2014
Backdoor, Beauty, Queer guys, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday Out-Liners

Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.

–Bedford & S 3rd

Overheard by: Rocky

Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?

–Broadway

Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.

–Q Train

Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!

–Ave C & 7th St

Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.

–Rockefeller Center

30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Tom Guest

Posted on October 14, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Backdoor, Blue-collar workers, Brooklyn, Central Park, Cops, Coworkers, Dating, Drugs, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Guys, Hipsters, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

But the Pressure of Your Gaze Is Unwelcome

Thugette #1: I don’t care if Jake is smaller than him — I ain’t lettin’ him in my ass.
Thugette #2: You can cum from it. [Cool British guy turns to look at them as he passes.]Thugette #1: What you looking at?
Cool British guy: Would you really like me to answer that?
Thugette #1, sheepishly: No.

–Times Square

Posted on October 10, 2014
Backdoor, Foreigners, Ghetto Chicks, Insults, Times Square

It’s Now a Prerequisite for the Program

Hipster boy: There is an art party to benefit the Whitney Independent Study Program tonight! I’m totes going.
Hipster girl: I applied and didn’t get in to the Whitney Program, but this guy who took my anal virginity did.

–Prospect Park

Posted on October 3, 2014
Backdoor, Brooklyn, Education, Hipsters

Backdoor