Wednesday One-Liners Are So Archaic and Bourgeoise

20-something woman to friend: Man, can I just tell you how absolutely bizarre coffee shop conversations are in this area?! I am never ever getting married if this is the sort of stuff married women talk about all day.

–Smith & Bergan

Overheard by: Mako Shark

30-something to older woman: I can’t get married yet! I haven’t experienced even… half of the women in the world yet!

–86th & Broadway

Overheard by: Carol

Tween boy getting into the face of another tween boy: (loudly) I’ll be your fucking wife!

–Morgan’s Market

Overheard by: Akiko

Little boy: We saw a peanut marrying a princess!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: blue

Girl to friends: I think my husband’s gonna divorce me now that gay marriage is legal.

–N10th & Bedford Ave, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Non Hipster

Woman in a wedding dress and veil, on cell: Yeah, I got kicked out.

–Penn Station

Posted on March 13, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Breaking Up, Brooklyn, Fears, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Kids, Marriage, Penn Station, Restaurants & Cafes, Tweens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Williamsburg, Women

He Refers to Sarah Palin As “Mama Mia” in Private Moments

Little boy: Mommy, John McCain likes Abba.
Mom: Does he really now? Then you two have something in common.
Little boy: Noooooo!

–College Walk, Columbia University

Posted on March 11, 2015
Boys, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Default, Kids, Moms, Music, Politics

I Think It's Like a Bathroom Thing

Boy #1, looking at picture book: Grapes are purple, corn is yellow, tomatoes are red, edamame is green.
Boy #2: I think those are peas.
Boy #1: What are peas?

–LIRR

Overheard by: loisann

Posted on March 8, 2015
Books & Writing, Boys, Colors, Food, Kids, Questions, Trains Not Subway

Wednesday One-Liners Find Their Niche

Ten-year-old wannabe thug: I'ma put this can of pepper spray up your ass! You want me to put this up your ass?!

–Old Navy, Harlem

Worried bearded 50-something: Yeah, but how are we going to film an anal birth!?

–F Train

Street vendor selling his wares: I will shove your foot up the devil's ass!

–St Mark's Place

Yankee stadium employee yelling to another: Hey, wouldja bend over for a minute? I'll be right back!

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: torrie

Gay teen: His hole was as big as a traffic cone!

–1st & 14th

Sinfully ugly girl: I have to stop putting things in my ass.

–forever 21 (queens center mall)

Overheard by: defragment my harddrive

Posted on March 5, 2015
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Backdoor, Boys, Coworkers, Dildos and Vibrators, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Innuendo, Insults, Kids, Men, Movies, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Queer guys, Questions, Sexuality, Store, Teens, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Weirdness, Words, Yankee Stadium

What Dubya Said at His First Inauguration Ceremony

Ditzy chick: I'm not telling him that I love him because I don't want to set myself up for disappointment.
Flamboyant boy: Sometimes you have to take risks, or else you will never get “appointed”. (laughs)
Ditzy chick: Ha ha ha. “Appointed” isn't even a word.

–57th & Park Ave

Overheard by: Titiful

Posted on March 2, 2015
Boys, Girls, Laughter, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Wishes & desires, Words

That's How I Get My Kix

(six-year-old boy tries to cross street against traffic)
Father, grabbing boy's hand: Whoa, little man! That's dangerous!
Six-year-old boy: Daddy, I eat danger for breakfast.

–Ocean & Newkirk, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Well I eat razors and nails.

Posted on March 1, 2015
Advice, Boys, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Default, Kids, Laughter, Parents

This Way, She’ll Be Trained for Her Future Husband

Mother, to four-year-old boy who has just slapped a little girl: Why did you do that?! Give me a reason right now. I demand a reason, now!
Four-year-old boy: I have to control her.

–East Broadway

Posted on February 25, 2015
Boys, Chinatown, Default, Gender issues, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Punch, Questions, Weirdness, Words

She Who Dealt It, Felt It

Girl looking at abstract wall installation: Oh god. This is pure art. It really speaks to me.
Boy: What does it say?
Girl: (makes loud farting sound and walks away)

–Art Exhibit, Time Warner Building

Posted on February 25, 2015
Boys, Buildings, Default, Girls, Languages, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Visual Art

We Like to Call It “Subway Cooch”

Teen boy #1: I love the smell of the subway.
Teen boy #2: Why?
Teen boy #1: You know why.

–71st St & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on February 23, 2015
Boys, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Then Why Do You Keep Me Chained to the Radiator?

Nine-year-old boy stocking vegetables: Mommy, why did they make child labor laws?
Mother, hugging son: I don’t know, honey. Maybe because you’re suuuch a sweetie.

–Food Co-Op, Park Slope

Overheard by: such a thing as too much praise

Posted on February 20, 2015
Boys, Default, Kids, Love, Moms, Park Slope, Politics, Questions

Boys