Teacher, guiding field trip: Don’t you look cute today, April?! I love your dress. I wish I could wear one like it.
Kindergarten girl: Maybe if you lost some weight, you could.
–L train
Teacher, guiding field trip: Don’t you look cute today, April?! I love your dress. I wish I could wear one like it.
Kindergarten girl: Maybe if you lost some weight, you could.
–L train
Girl #1: Look at that guy in the gray suit.
Girl #2: My sister knows him.
Girl #1: He's cute, what does he do?
Girl #2: I think he is a social worker.
Girl #1: Ah–full heart, empty wallet. (chuckles)
Girl #2: Oh man, that's cold.
Girl #1 (looking at girl #2 with surprise): What? if a certain lifestyle is important to you…we shouldn't pretend it isn't. I'm not kidding myself anymore.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Darren
Dude: Honestly, what was Jamie wearing?
Queer: Something slut-tacular?
Dude: I have a GAP-commercial of a closet. I need to loan her something to wear in public.
Queer: She really just needs to buy something that doesn’t show her cooch.
–Manhattan-bound L train
Overheard by: dead partier
Chick #1: Are you done?
Chick #2: Almost. I just have to take off my panties.
Chick #1: What?
Chick #2: I have to take them off because if I go home with wet panties and my man sees, he’ll kill me.
–Bathroom, Providence Lounge, 57th & 6th
Girl #1: I can’t believe you just felt me up!
Girl #2: I can’t believe you just pulled my shirt off!
Two guys nearby whip their heads around to look.
Girls: What are you looking at?!
–2nd St & Ave A
Overheard by: We all did
Man #1: I feel like with this new Speedo shit it's unfair, they're all breaking world records. They should swim in the nude, so it's fair. Plus, you could see their dongs.
Man #2: Michael Phelps' dong! That's why I like basketball, because they all wear shorts and you can at least see a outline.
–The Abbey Bar
Overheard by: Robyn Stegman
Male shopper: Excuse me, do you have any sweater vests?
Salesperson: Um, we only have long sleeve vests.
Male shopper: Hmmm, can I see them?
–UNIQLO at Rockefeller Center
Two male twins, dressed alike, in their 20s, address two female twins, dressed alike, in their 20s.
Male twins: Hey! Are you twins?! You twins?! That’s great! We’re twins too! Hey, we’re twins too!
Female twins: Mmmhmm.
Male twins: You ain’t twins! You lesbians! She look like she wanna get it on with you! You ain’t twins! Hey, I’m just tryin’ ‘a help ya out! You ain’t twins.
Female twins: [silence]
Male twins: I’m just tryin’ a help you out! I have your best interest in mind! You ain’t twins! Look! That one’s that one’s mother!
Female twins: We’re twins. We are the same age.
Male twins: Then how come that one so much older than the other? You ain’t twins! We twins! That’s why we so tall! We the twin towers!
Female twins flee train.
–F train
Chick on cell: Yeah, I'm like a hardcore rollerblader now. I just haven't learned how to stop yet.
–44th & 3rd
Steroid Freak: So I was hanging from his torso and then we tried to insert the triangle…
–25th & Lexington
Young man to friend: He likes me, he likes my style… he wants me to contort my limbs on a float.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Eyeteeth
Bored teenage girl (from 2nd story window): Hello, Mr Runner man! You've got a long way to go! I see you across the street there, wearing all black. These are words of encouragement! I support your acts of fitness!
–Vanderbilt & Bergen
Overheard by: Jilly
Female power-walker with cigarette: I used to be able to make a mile in under 7, but that was, you know, way back in college, before the job and the (runs out of breath) …way back.
–Prospect Park Loop
Overheard by: EmLo
Bag Check Guy: I’m so scared of mice here now that I’m thinking of tucking my pants into my socks.
–The Strand
