Unlike Chinese Guys, Where You Have One and You’re Hungry 30 Minutes Later

Guy in truck: I’m Italian!
Girl wearing ‘I Love Italian Guys’ t-shirt: Yeah, go kill yourself! I get that all day!

–58th St

Overheard by: Scottyboy

Headline by: Abartig
Runners-Up:
· “”So, do you have any Italian in ya? You want some?”” – erak
· “Because the “Putana Facile” T-shirt was not working.” – cristina
· “But I’m not “in” love with them” – Marc
· “Her “I Fuck Jews” T-shirt Also Sends Mixed Signals” – s h
· “She knows a real Italian will just try to rape her” – cornelious
· “Sibyl: The Dating Years” – Sara
· “The “I love my daddy” t-shirt was even less fun.” – Defies Gravity
· “This passes for courtship in New Jersey” – Amanda
· “Veni, vidi, vd” – em

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on November 16, 2006
Clothing, Girls, Guys, Headline Contest Winners, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen

Nothing Tastes as Good as Childless Feels

Teen boy: I know, all she does is complain about how none of her clothes fit her anymore.
Teen girl: Well, didn’t anyone warn her?
Teen boy: About what?
Teen girl: That when you are sixteen and pregnant, you get fat.

–Downtown 4 train

Posted on November 16, 2006
Clothing, Girls, On the Subway, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Teens

Juvenile Wednesday One-Liners

Second grader: Earth is the greatest planet in the whole world!

–125th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Yes, I’m his teacher.

Little boy to younger brother in elevator: Stop! It’s like the hospital, you can’t touch anything!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: student

Little girl: Big Brother is watching!

–Franklin St & Church St

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Little boy: Yo, digit, you don’t get any pussy, how you gonna say she ugly?

–Corsa Ave, the Bronx

Overheard by: Edward Carney

Little girl to other little girl wearing school uniform: You look like a woman. Go change!

–116th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Ken Yapelli

Little girl: Excuse me, where is the drugstore? I mean, where are the drugs?

–Duane Reade, 7th Ave & Flatbush

Overheard by: Cupcake

Little boy: I can’t wait to get home so I can scratch my crotch!

–6th Ave & 17th St

Posted on November 8, 2006
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Arts & Letters, Beauty, Body Parts, Books & Writing, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Columbia University, Druggies, Drugs, Duane Reade, Elevators, Fashion, Favorites, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Manhattan, People, Places, Pop Culture, Private Parts, Sex & Relationships, Should've Used a Condom, The Bronx, Topics, Vagina, Venues, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Amber, We’re Strippers

Bimbette #1: This new dress code is gonna suck! Like half my paycheck is on clothes already!
Bimbette #2: I think you’re ok.
Bimbette #1: You sure? My boob fell out like in front of everybody yesterday.

–Elevator, 45 W 45th St

Overheard by: MaryMary

Posted on November 5, 2006
Bimbettes, Clothing, Elevators, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Nudity, Rack

A Drink and a Hat: It’s the Apex of Human Civilization

Guy #1: Shut up! Why are you so obsessed with sombreros? Every time I talk to you it’s sombreros, sombreros, sombreros!
Guy #2: Isn’t this, like, the first time we’ve ever talked?
Guy #1: Yeah, and it’s about sombreros, isn’t it?

–NYU

Posted on November 4, 2006
Clothing, Guys, NYU, Yeaaahhh College!

Schrodinger: I’ll Take It! It’s for My Cat

Woman: Will this skirt shrink in the dryer?
Saleswoman: I don’t know if it’ll shrink. My friend said that in her experience it probably won’t. But sometimes it does. It depends. There’s no way to know. It either will, or it won’t.

–Macy’s

Overheard by: SDP

Posted on October 28, 2006
Clothing, Customers, Questions, Store, Stupidity, Vendors & Street Performers, Women

Wednesday One-Liners in Whiteface

Extremely large guy: Yo, I’m scared of clowns for reeeaaal.

–Court & Montague, Brooklyn

Mother to young child, after ghetto girl passes: No, honey, she’s not a clown. She just likes to dress that way.

–95th & Madison

Overheard by: Don Ricardo

Mother, watching a clown holding a briefcase walk onto the train: [to child] Look, honey, it’s a funny clown!… [to husband] Do you think he has a bomb in that briefcase?

–F train

Overheard by: and then i burst out laughing.

Posted on October 18, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Clothing, Fat People, Fears, Insults, Moms, On the Subway, Terrorism, Upper East Side

From JC Penney to Stardom Was Just A Hop, Skip, and a Jump for RuPaul

Little boy: Ewww…ewww….
Mom: Stop saying ewww..those are bras..
Little boy: I hate bras
Mom: Don’t say that, you’ll change your mind when you gets older.

–JC Penney lingerie department, Queens

Overheard by: a fellow shopper

Posted on October 15, 2006
Advice, Age/Aging, Boys, Clothing, Customers, Kids, Moms, Queens, Store, Talking/Convos

Sweetie, if You Think Changing Clothes Will Let you Blend in, You’re Even More of a New Englander than You Realize

Bostonian Girl: I need to get clothes for the city.
Bostonian Guy: What’s wrong with what you have?
Bostonian Girl: Are you kidding? We’re in New York City, you can’t wear North Face in NYC. They’ll be able to tell we’re New Englanders from a mile away.

–Fordham University

Posted on October 14, 2006
Clothing, Fordham, Girls, Guys, Manhattan, Tourists

Clothing