Woman: Will this skirt shrink in the dryer?
Saleswoman: I don’t know if it’ll shrink. My friend said that in her experience it probably won’t. But sometimes it does. It depends. There’s no way to know. It either will, or it won’t.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: SDP
Extremely large guy: Yo, I’m scared of clowns for reeeaaal.
–Court & Montague, Brooklyn
Mother to young child, after ghetto girl passes: No, honey, she’s not a clown. She just likes to dress that way.
–95th & Madison
Overheard by: Don Ricardo
Mother, watching a clown holding a briefcase walk onto the train: [to child] Look, honey, it’s a funny clown!… [to husband] Do you think he has a bomb in that briefcase?
–F train
Overheard by: and then i burst out laughing.
Little boy: Ewww…ewww….
Mom: Stop saying ewww..those are bras..
Little boy: I hate bras
Mom: Don’t say that, you’ll change your mind when you gets older.
–JC Penney lingerie department, Queens
Overheard by: a fellow shopper
Bostonian Girl: I need to get clothes for the city.
Bostonian Guy: What’s wrong with what you have?
Bostonian Girl: Are you kidding? We’re in New York City, you can’t wear North Face in NYC. They’ll be able to tell we’re New Englanders from a mile away.
–Fordham University
Girl #1: You look really smart today.
Girl #2, with hand tucked in armpit: I look really smart? Why, because I’m putting corn starch on my wet parts?
–33rd & 3rd
Clerk #1: I’ve always wanted to start my own magazine.
Clerk #2: Yeah, but there are so many magazines out!
Clerk #3: I’ve always wanted to start my own T-shirt company.
–American Apparel, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by:
Coed #1, pointing at huge stain on her shirt: It’s coffee. I used water to rub it off, but the water made it all wet!
Coed #2: You should have used club soda!
–New School, 13th & 5th
Abercrombie teen #1: I know it’s in this neighborhood and it’s definitely below Fourth Street.
Queer: Where ju wanna go, honny? Da Cock is down ovah dere.
Abercrombie teen #2: Uh, we’re not looking for the Cock.
Queer: Den ju should go home and change ju clothes!
–2nd Ave & 3rd St
Overheard by: Manhattman
Old woman inside apartment: You gotta come here and look at this!
Old man: Do I gotta put my pants on to come see it?
–80th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jo
Girl, pointing at a white blob at the foot of a tree: Ewww, a giant mushroom… oh, it’s a beret. Still, ewww.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lisa
