Skinny blonde girl: So, was she Jewish?
20-something guy: No, she couldn’t have been. She was wearing pants.
–1st Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: I hate that I know this kid.
Skinny blonde girl: So, was she Jewish?
20-something guy: No, she couldn’t have been. She was wearing pants.
–1st Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: I hate that I know this kid.
Man in Who shirt: Whoa! I didn’t see that shirt! That’s a cool one!
Man with French accent: Oh, yeah, I got this one at the show in France.
Man in Who shirt: Were they screaming as loud as we were tonight?
Man with French accent: No, we put our hands over our heads and snap our fingers and say ‘Ooh-la-la.’
His wife: What’d you have to do that for? You don’t have to fuck around with everyone on the street!
Man with French accent, now speaking in Brooklyn accent: What’s the fun of wearing a fake, five-dollar Chinatown Who shirt if I’m not gonna make fun of those assholes in the process?
–Pizza shop outside MSG after the Who show
Little boy: Look, Mommy, that man is dressed up as the UPS man for Halloween!
UPS man: No, this is my life.
–Rockefeller Center Concourse
Overheard by: Micaela
Man on cell: So, what have you been up to, besides running a sperm bank?
–Chinatown bus
Yuppie: So he shot some sperm in my mouth, and I ate it.
–3rd Ave
Overheard by: renata
Woman on cell: I know! And the only thing insurance doesn’t cover is the sperm!
–20th & 5th
Overheard by: I want to get on her plan
Queer: He got sweat in my eyes, cum in my nose, and shit on my dick.
–1 train
Man on cell: It looked like he was covered in jizz. Giant jizz. Like giant, Paul Bunyan-jizz.
–5th Ave
NYU chick: So then I realized that I had cum on my breath! And what would he think of that?
–Waverly & Broadway
Freshman: So what if you occasionally jizz in your pants?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Rachel Hoban
Guy in truck: I’m Italian!
Girl wearing ‘I Love Italian Guys’ t-shirt: Yeah, go kill yourself! I get that all day!
–58th St
Overheard by: Scottyboy
Headline by: Abartig
Runners-Up:
· “”So, do you have any Italian in ya? You want some?”” – erak
· “Because the “Putana Facile” T-shirt was not working.” – cristina
· “But I’m not “in” love with them” – Marc
· “Her “I Fuck Jews” T-shirt Also Sends Mixed Signals” – s h
· “She knows a real Italian will just try to rape her” – cornelious
· “Sibyl: The Dating Years” – Sara
· “The “I love my daddy” t-shirt was even less fun.” – Defies Gravity
· “This passes for courtship in New Jersey” – Amanda
· “Veni, vidi, vd” – em
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Teen boy: I know, all she does is complain about how none of her clothes fit her anymore.
Teen girl: Well, didn’t anyone warn her?
Teen boy: About what?
Teen girl: That when you are sixteen and pregnant, you get fat.
–Downtown 4 train
Second grader: Earth is the greatest planet in the whole world!
–125th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Yes, I’m his teacher.
Little boy to younger brother in elevator: Stop! It’s like the hospital, you can’t touch anything!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: student
Little girl: Big Brother is watching!
–Franklin St & Church St
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Little boy: Yo, digit, you don’t get any pussy, how you gonna say she ugly?
–Corsa Ave, the Bronx
Overheard by: Edward Carney
Little girl to other little girl wearing school uniform: You look like a woman. Go change!
–116th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Ken Yapelli
Little girl: Excuse me, where is the drugstore? I mean, where are the drugs?
–Duane Reade, 7th Ave & Flatbush
Overheard by: Cupcake
Little boy: I can’t wait to get home so I can scratch my crotch!
–6th Ave & 17th St
Bimbette #1: This new dress code is gonna suck! Like half my paycheck is on clothes already!
Bimbette #2: I think you’re ok.
Bimbette #1: You sure? My boob fell out like in front of everybody yesterday.
–Elevator, 45 W 45th St
Overheard by: MaryMary
Guy #1: Shut up! Why are you so obsessed with sombreros? Every time I talk to you it’s sombreros, sombreros, sombreros!
Guy #2: Isn’t this, like, the first time we’ve ever talked?
Guy #1: Yeah, and it’s about sombreros, isn’t it?
–NYU
