Filipino girl #1: So, he’s from Bangladesh, right?
White guy: Really? Are you sure? ‘Cause he looks white…
Filipino girl #2: Yeah, but he’s really Filipino. Bangladesh is in Asia, right?
Filipino girl #1: Yeah, but not our part, which is why he doesn’t look completely white like me.
–1 train
Queer: ‘Winter white’ used to mean something.
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: JC
Fat guy: I can’t believe I bought a freaking purple litter box.
–Spring & Thompson
Conductor: We have a red signal and should be moving shortly. In the mean time, sit back, relax, and enjoy the scenery.
–A train in tunnel before 59th St
Guy: They should just hang a big pink triangle on him and tell him to stop.
–2nd Ave station
Overheard by: Kira
Guy on cell: Yeah. I use Post-it flags to read GQ. Red for chicks, blue for clothes [continues]…
–Shuttle bus from JFK to Grand Central
Overheard by: post-it flag dependent student
Hobo selling lollipops: Please find God in your hearts and buy a sucker so I can rent a room. I know some of you don’t want to read the Bible — you just want to go home and smoke some weed or whatever, but I got news for every person on this train: I don’t care if you’re black, white, blue, or green, you’re all going to die.
–6 train, 28th St
Overheard by: going home to smoke weed
Hardhat #1: Brown?! You think the color brown is gay?
Hardhat #2: Well, maybe… I mean, maybe not, but yellow — yellow is gay.
Hardhat #1: You’re wearing brown. I’m wearing brown.
Hardhat #2: I meant yellow. Yellow is so gay.
–Washington & Bank St
Tourist chick, in front of Jackson Pollock painting: What does it mean?
Friend: I want that color on my wedding cake.
–MoMA
Girl: … So if it’s green we’ll know.
Guy: I once shit green.
Girl: Me, too.
–E 7th St
Teen #1: My shits change color. They be green, then they dark brown…
Teen #2: Green? Nah…
Teen #3: My shits be green.
Teen #4: Yeah, I seen his shits be green.
Teen #1: Look! Look right now. My eyes be green.
Teen #4: That nigga wear contacts.
–A train
Overheard by: TMI
JAP #1: When I grow up I want to be purple.
JAP #2: What? I’m putting that on Facebook!
JAP #1: Why? I was just talking to myself… Fuck, I was talking to myself.
–82nd & Lex
30-something black chick #1, trying on leopard print heels: I don’t know… I’m getting a serious whore vibe from these shoes.
30-something black chick #2: Yes, but it’s an attractive whore.
30-something black chick #1: Right… Whore is the new black.
–Upscale shoe store, Midtown
Man on cell: I had never used a dildo before, you know? It’s just never come up, I guess. So I think, ‘Okay, I’m not that young anymore — I’ll take what I can get…’ and it was going fine, but then I didn’t know you’re not supposed to shove it in that fast…
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Peter L
Dude on cell: Why would I get the pink one? It’s not a dildo, it’s a back massager from Duane Reade.
–Christopher & 7th
Girl: I’ve got my Reisens and my vibrator, and I’m all set!
–Duane Reade, Montague & Court, Brooklyn
Young woman turning to male friend: So, bud, conquered any good buttplugs lately?
–6 train
Girl whispering: I think that girl in line behind me just read this text about rubber pussy cups!
–Victoria’s Secret dressing room
20-something guy to pals at brunch: I’m tired of being the guy with all the good sex toys!
–56th & 9th
Chick: Look, I didn’t paint my toenails red after you made that comment.
Guy: Good, because the only girls who do that are selling their ass on the street.
–14th St & 7th Ave
