Employee #1, to customers with a baby: That is the cutest baby I have ever seen!
Employee #2: I think my boyfriend and I would have an ugly baby.
Employee #1, in front of couple: No. Ugly people usually have the cutest babies!
–Subway
Overheard by: Drew
Gay man #1: There's always a moment in plays where someone has the chance to drop their morals and go for the money…
Gay man #2: But that opportunity never arises in real life. I keep waiting. Got my morals all bagged up and ready to go!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Julie
Girl with coach bag: It's like the Beatles are here (motions with hand) and Flo Rida is here (motions with hand two feet higher)
Asian boy: (stares)
Girl with coach bag: Musical genius!
–St. Mark's Place
High school girl #1: I love Hannah Montana but I hate Miley Cyrus. She's like a role model, you know? She shouldn't have taken those pictures, but… If she, you know, shouldn't have leaked them.
High school girl #2: I don't think she…
High school girl #1: Well, I know, but still!
–Flushing
Girl, to no one in particular: This train is so packed! It's thrilling! It feels like sex!
Bemused Aussie: This is what it feels like? Getting crammed up against 200 of your best mates?
Girl: You're right. I must be doing it wrong…
–Packed E Train
Overheard by: Dave
Film student: There's subtext to butt-sex?
–School of Visual Arts
Girl, to guy: Was your dick *in* my ass? Did we just do anal?
–Lower East Side
College girl: And my butthole is probably a lot tighter than hers.
–LIRR
Middle aged suit: I think I'd really enjoy anal because I always take such big craps.
–Union Square
Overheard by: alib
Woman to friend: Did you know the latest teenage fad is butt sex?
–177th St & Broadway
Drunk guy: You've had sex with a black man! That means you've definitely had sex with someone whose penis is bigger than mine!
Girlfriend: Yeah. Yeah, I have.
Drunk guy: Well, I've had sex with a virgin. Which means I've had sex with someone whose vag is tighter than yours. Ha.
–St. Marks Place
Gay hipster #1: So wait, who is Natalee Holloway?
Gay hipster #2: That's a dumber question than the time you asked for some Chinese yen.
–N Train
Overheard by: Melissa
Young Jersey gay boy going to pride parade: Oh my god, my thighs are so pasty. And hairy!
Friend: Yeah, it's like someone cut their hair over a bowl of sour cream.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: JBe
Bouncer, looking at photo ID skeptically: I don't think this is…
Impatient cute girl: Look, it's me, okay? It's me.
Bouncer: I'm not sure.
Impatient cute girl: I used to be ugly, okay? I've gotten over it; so should you.
–Lotus Club
