Hispanic teenage girl #1: I don't know about that girl. She just don't fit in with our group.
Hispanic teenage girl #2: Yeah, she think she ghetto fabulous, but she just ghetto.
–Brooklyn
Hispanic teenage girl #1: I don't know about that girl. She just don't fit in with our group.
Hispanic teenage girl #2: Yeah, she think she ghetto fabulous, but she just ghetto.
–Brooklyn
Walk of shame girl #1: He said I was the best 20-minute decision he ever made.
Walk of shame girl #2: Oh my god, really??
Walk of shame girl #1: Yeah, more like 5 minutes.
–89th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Just Out For Coffee
Woman to waiter: Oh my god! I left my mink stole here. Oh please don't let it be gone. (goes to table, finds stole) Oh, thank god I found my mink stole and no one took it!
Woman at next table: Oh, please, bitch, ain't nobody want your German Shepherd!
–The Diner Restaurant, Midtown
Hipster #1: So you're like Simba in The Lion King. Except you're lazy… and drunk.
Hipster #2: Exactly!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Lucia C
Man on cell walking dog: What? But doesn't she know how big my Johnson is?
–Mott Street
Overheard by: Erica
20-something male, while passing sculpture of male nude: I don't get it. If you're going to make it with a dick, why make it so small?
–Time Warner Center
Overheard by: sd
Short Indian man, loudly into phone: All I wanna do is make love to you tonight… with my 11-inch cock!
–7th Ave & 35th St
Overheard by: Jenn B
Drunk guy, after fighting with girlfriend: How she gon' be mad at me 'cause I got a big dick?
–F Train
Girl holding orchid: Orchids are the thinking man's rose.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Samantha
Hipster girl to hipster guy: I'm telling you, these trees smell like semen.
–10th St b/w 1st & Ave A
Overheard by: Libby
Disheveled hobo to granola-looking lady with khaki shorts, matching hat, and three-foot braided ponytail: You goin' on a nature walk, baby? I'd like to take a hike with you and make sweet love beside a pine tree.
–89th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jesse Cromer
20-something hipster: He face-planted into my potted plant, and then later he pissed himself.
–Gowanus Yacht Club, Brooklyn
Overheard by: big bad don
Girl: What have you been up to, Stephanie?
Stephanie: Oh, I work at an assisted living in Dedham.
Girl: Oh, I know that one. I have a funny story about…
Stephanie: Oh?
Girl: And by “funny story” I mean that I'm in love with your coworker's ex.
Stephanie: Wow!
Girl: Hey, does this look like a mosquito bite or a hive?
–Columbus Circle
20-something skinny hipster girl: I'm in an eating phase. It started on Tuesday, and it'll go until Friday, if I've calculated my lunar cycle correctly.
20-something skinny hipster boy: Yeah, me too… I hadn't eaten for weeks, so I'll probably go til Saturday or Sunday.
20-something skinny hipster girl: What about you?
20-something chubby stoned hipster girl: I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about. I eat like a normal person.
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: emily darwin
Woman on phone: Mommy, how many people do you know who have been raped as much as her? None, exactly!
–Midtown East
Overheard by: dtrain
Woman on cell: And I didn't get raped on the subway today! It's always a good day when I don't get raped.
–6th Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: that's always good
Teen meathead on cell: Wait what? I can't really hear you. (pause) You got raped? Wait… physically or emotionally? (pause) Both? Shit.
–American Eagle Dressing Room
Overheard by: Alyssa
College bro to friend: Nah, dude, it's even better than a date rape drug!
–East Village
Girl: There are some girls who he would be more likely to rape. She's not one of them.
–Graham Ave
Tourist, loudly and proudly: They have this store at the mall!
–Louis Vuitton, 5th Ave
College girl: The second floor was pointless. It was, like, just furniture.
–Ikea, Brooklyn
Woman on cell: I'm not in a store! I know what a store looks like!
–Tompkins Square Park
Perturbed NYU chick, about New Orleans: Hopefully I will survive there for two years. They don't have H&M! Or Bloomingdale's or Anthropologie. They don't have Loehmann's…
–NYU Office
Overheard by: Melanie
Middle-aged guy passing clothing store with shirtless male models at front doors: Hollister? What is it, a ladies club inside?
–NoHo
Overheard by: Arielle
