Loudspeaker hijacker #1: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. The monkey bit the conductor.
Loudspeaker hijacker #2: Ladies…and gentlemen–Awoo!–please extinguish all crack pipes and prepare for lift off.
–D train
Overheard by: Michael Squeglia
Hobo: Yeah man, that’s good shit. Except for those white-ass American bandstand drummers. Whoever heard of fucking Clark Kent playing bongos?
–55th & 9th
Overheard by: Luke Reynolds
Girl: I know you’re not religious, but do you believe in dinosaurs?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Sasha
Woman: Um…excuse me…But…are you all right?
Teen boy: Juilliard audition!
–JFK
Overheard by: Sydney M
Guy on pay phone: Hey Tom, it’s Jerry.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Matthew Suss
Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
God Squad lady: Jesus is coming! Jesus is coming!
Girl: Well, is he going to be getting off the S train? ‘Cause I’ll just meet him there.
–Port Authority
Crazy codger: I’m on the sex train. Wooha.
Conductor guy: Tickets, please.
Crazy codger: We’re all gonna have fucking sex!
Conductor guy: Tickets.
Crazy codger: What the fuck do you want? Sex?
–LIRR
Overheard by: Dan
Guy: You know, for a hundred dollars, you can get that old mink stole
made into a teddy bear!
–M104 bus
Overheard by: Ron Caldwell
Man: When I told her I worked for the State of New York she seemed to
lose interest.
–F train
