Girl: Like, my grandmother got stabbed with an ice pick by her brother. And then they were estranged for years.
–Bobst Library, Washington Square South
Girl: Like, my grandmother got stabbed with an ice pick by her brother. And then they were estranged for years.
–Bobst Library, Washington Square South
Girl #1: I just don’t know what he sees in me.
Girl #2: Maybe the same thing you see in him.
Girl #1: Well, I like him because his dad’s a mortician.
–Park Slope
Older black man: How's you mother?
20-something white man: She died in January.
Older black man: I'm very sorry to hear that.
20-something white man: Thanks. She left me her rent-controlled apartment!
–Montague Street, Brooklyn Heights
Teen kid #1: Yo white people have too much free time to do stupid shit.
Teen kid #2: Yeah, I know: like jump off 30-story buildings, like those two kids.
Teen kid #1: Yeah, I once saw this white guy who tried to jump over a car and got split in two, like the car was coming at him, and he tried to jump, but it hit him and split him in two pieces right down the middle.
Teen kid #2: For real, you saw that happen?
Teen kid #1: Yeah.
Teen kid #2: Like in person, you saw it happen?
Teen kid #1: Yeah, I saw it happen in person on TV last night.
–5 Train
Overheard by: b
Hot girl #1: And he said, “I hate that bitch, I wish she'd eat an Aids burger and die!”
Hot girl #2: He said that?
Hot girl #1: Yep, that's what he says when he's hating on people: “I wish she'd eat an Aids burger and die.”
Hot girl #2: Well, at least he's saying what I'm thinking… That's like when I see an anorexic girl, I'm like, “I just wanna shove a burger down that bitch's throat.”
Hot girl #1: Oh, well, I'm not thinking that. I'm just like, “I wanna break her bones.”
(they laugh)
Hot girl #1: It's true! I'm like, “I just wanna blow gently, and watch you blow away.”
–L Train
Overheard by: Eden Twilight
Middle-aged woman to others: Just because she's got her own apartment, she thinks she has it all together.
–Near NYU
Overheard by: Eric
20-something guy to another, about his apartment: All I want to do in my apartment is die.
–Fort Greene, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Dodd Loomis
Woman on cell, walking briskly: There was blood all over the apartment…
–E 9th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave
Cashier to male shopper: Dude, your apartment is rent-stabilized and you have food stamps? You are so rich!
–Whole Foods, Houston & Bowery
20-something trendy Jonas Brother-looking dude on cell: No, I sleep on the couch that's in the kitchen. (short pause) I'll tell you about my apartment later.
–9th Ave b/w 14th & 15th
Overheard by: Dash
Anorexia on cell: Oh, she died? From what?…Oh, that’s horrible. Well, everyone has to die somehow.
–Coffee shop, Madison & 79th
Overheard by: Julz
Cab driver: Are you trying for die, bitch?
–Taxi, Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Aaron Brumer
Girl on cell: …and they took me to a psychic and the psychic said I’m, like, dead inside and that I have nothing going for me.
–Broadway & Broome
Guy: I’ll tell you what: I’ll kill myself, you don’t have to bother.
–47th & 5th
Woman on cell: Girl, you know I only gotta do two things: stay black and die. And I’m doing that real well. Staying black, I mean.
–Karavas Place ladies’ room, W. 4th Street
Girl: Oh, so I forgot to tell you about my ex who died last year. He drowned…this is a good story.
–World Financial Center
20-something guy to friend: And then he died of a cocaine-induced overdose, while having sex with a prostitute.
Friend: That's awesome!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Katie Compa
Artist: Painting is wearing me out. I think I’m ready to retire.
Sales associate: Artists do not retire. As a matter of fact, they are the only ones that do not retire.
Artist: Yeah, they just jump off a bridge or out of a window.
–New York Central Art Supply Store, 3rd Ave, between 10th & 11th St
Four-year-old boy: Dad, if I die, when will I come back?
Father: As far as I know, you won't.
Four-year-old boy, untroubled, thoughtful: But…what if everyone dies?
Father: Well, other people will take their place. Because everyone doesn't die at once. Know what I mean?
Four-year-old boy: Where will we put mom if she dies?
Mother, just arriving: Good grief!
Father: In the ground. In a box in the ground.
–Barnes & Noble
