Roommate #1: Did you switch your language this semester?
Roommate #2: Yeah, to Arabic.
Roommate #3: Is that a country?
–Manhattan College
Overheard by: K-Money
Roommate #1: Did you switch your language this semester?
Roommate #2: Yeah, to Arabic.
Roommate #3: Is that a country?
–Manhattan College
Overheard by: K-Money
Mom: Give me my phone.
Son: Photo?
Mom: No, you cannot take a picture.
Son (sticking phone in the butt of his pants): Please.
Mom: No, it's too loud. At home…
–NJ Transit
(girl is shrieking)
Guy: What? There are mouses all over the city.
Girl: It's mice.
Guy: Right, that's what I said. Mices.
–37th & Lexington, Murray Hill
Overheard by: Morgan
Thug #1: You know what I need?
Thug #2: What?
Thug #1: A white woman, with good credit.
–Columbia University
Overheard by:
Yelling man: Excuse me, attention please, girls only! Two years ago we were blessed by an earth angel, and that earth angel is me, in this body! If you want to come with me, girls, to heaven, I can give you some pamphlets, information…but there is a catch! Only girls under the age of 29 may come with the earth angel! Girls above the age of 29 are destined to the infernal afterlife!
Queer Latino to lady friend: Guess you're gonna burn.
–4 Train
Overheard by: nooners
Hobo: I need change. I need me some change. Gonna get a steak sandwich.
Angry woman: Fuck that. Fuck you! I'm a social worker and I know you're nothing but a worthless son of a bitch! I know you gonna buy you some crack!
Hobo: Somebody better fire that bitch!
–Brooklyn
(seven-year-old girl gives 10 books and a few DVDs to library clerk)
Girl: Can I please have a bag?
Clerk: Sure, miss.
(clerk hands girl the bag, girl grabs it)
Girl: God! What did you put in here, a hippopotamus?
–Brooklyn Central Library
Overheard by: Jessie
Sketchy guy: How does it feel to be the most beautiful girl in the bar?
Drunk chick: I have a dickel.
–Landsdowne, 43rd & 10th
Guy to friend (as a security guard makes people stand up): See? You really can't sit on the steps of The Met anymore.
Friend: Is it because of the tourists? God, I hate the tourists. I saw tourists taking pictures of a Taco Bell at Penn Station today. Those fuckers.
–Steps of The Met
Overheard by: April
Lady #1: This crossword puzzle is hard. Look at this one.
Lady #2: Mmmhmm. Well, you misspelled “dumb” right there.
Lady #1: Oh my god!
–LaGuardia Airport
