Guy #1: I’d totally have a threesome with Judi Dench.
Guy #2: Uhh, this conversation is getting uncomfortable.
Guy #1: C’mon, dude, dame Judi Dench is the bomb!
–Chelsea
Guy #1: I’d totally have a threesome with Judi Dench.
Guy #2: Uhh, this conversation is getting uncomfortable.
Guy #1: C’mon, dude, dame Judi Dench is the bomb!
–Chelsea
Conductor: Please throw away your newspapers and garbage in the trash cans on station platforms and know that the trash cans can only hold two human bodies at a time.
–LIRR
New York Post guy: New York Post! Free New York Post! (hands huge stack of papers to passerby) Thanks, brother. Just throw the rest in the trash can down the block.
–40th & 6th
Carriage driver to horse: You see that chestnut? That's called "Eurotrash."
–Central Park South
Overheard by: Andy
Giant old man to screaming and jumping children: You look like Garbage Pail Kids. Stop it.
–Madison & Nostrand, Brooklyn
Overheard by: g
Conductor: Please place anyone who has become garbage en route in the appropriate receptacle.
–R Train
Overheard by: Jess
Woman walking down the street with a small bag of garbage: Fuck it. (drops bag of garbage nonchalantly, keeps walking)
–W 19th
Black woman, to eight-year-old white girl: I love the white people. You are so cute. I would babysit you. Come here.
White woman: Yes, give the little white girl a hug.
Black woman, to girl: If anyone fucks with you, I’m gonna be fucking with them.
–47th & 8th
Overheard by: alxie
Girl on computer #10: Damn, this dumb bitch wants to start her own prostituting company.
Girl on computer #9: What a dumb bitch.
–Library, Baruch College
Overheard by: jackieisawuesome
Columbia boy: That’s the library, right?
Barnard girl: Yeah, but it’s just for girls. They do a muff-check at the door.
–Barnard College
Guy #1: Wow, The Hipster Handbook finally made it to the stoop sale.
Guy #2: I think we're witnessing the death of irony.
–Stoop Sale in Brooklyn
Red haired woman: Damn it, Michael forgot to pack my lunch again. I am so pissed at him! Arrrrgh!
Big boobed woman: Shhh…shhh… Just get lunch at the store.
Red haired woman: Do they got ribs at the store? Do they got ribs at the store, Portia?
Big boobed woman: You could ask. They have pork.
–A Train
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Younger woman: What's the name of Jesus' father? Not god, the other guy!
Older woman: Joseph?
Younger woman: Yeah! Him. Oh wait, so it's not “John”? Forget it.
–Midtown
Guy: He is so weird!
Girl: Yeah, he really bothers me sometimes.
Guy: I can't believe he asked to have a threesome with you.
–13th & University
Dude: Are you guys going to get, like, totally drunk tonight and make out?
Sister #1: I'd do it for a lot of money.
Sister #2: A lot of money.
Sister #1: I'd do it for a little money.
–Uptown 1 Train
