Now What About the Statute of Librarians?

Guy with thick accent: Where you get off to the Walton Center?
NY chick: The what?
Guy with thick accent: The Walton Center.
NY chick: Do you know what street it's on?
Guy with thick accent: No, no. You know, the Walton Center.
NY chick: I'm sorry, I don't know where that is.
Guy with thick accent: The Walton Center! The buildings, they fall, they fall!
NY chick: You mean the World Trade Center?
Guy with thick accent: Yes!
NY chick: Fulton Street and fuck you.

–Uptown 5 Train

Posted on April 30, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Compare/Contrast, Default, Directions, Girls, Guys, Insults, Language Barrier, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Words

That's What You Say About Every Train

College guy to friends: Where does the z train go?
Friend #1: Never heard of it before.
Friend #2: It's probably that train in the third Matrix movie.

–Canal St

Overheard by: justin

Posted on April 29, 2015
Directions, Friends, Movies, Public Transportation, Questions, Soho, Students

Wednesday One-Liners Get Swept Away in Masses Of Humanity

Tourist: Hey look, it's 42nd Street! They named it after a Broadway show.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Really? REALLY!?!

Tourist dad, as shuttle to Grand Central comes in: No! We need to take the purple to Grand Central Station, then the green!

–Times Square Shuttle Platform

Overheard by: D-Law

Male tourist, watching stranger propose underneath Christmas tree: Hey buddy, did you go to Jared?

–Rockefeller Center

Southern tourist lady, as subway stops: Oh no, I think the train ran out of gas!

–F Train

Overheard by: Matt

Southern tourist: I guess the birds ate all the hands off the statues.

–The Cloisters, Harlem

Overheard by: M@

Posted on April 26, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Birds, Broadway Shows, Colors, Dads, Directions, Harlem & Morningside Heights, NYC Geography, On the Subway, One-liners, Port Authority, Public Transportation, Questions, Southerners, Stupidity, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Vendors & Street Performers, Visual Art, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

The Zen of Metro North Maintenance

Conductor #1: Folks, if you’re looking for a seat, walk all the way to the back of the train. The last car is not even half full.

Conductor #2: Or half empty.

–Metro North train

Posted on April 12, 2015
Conductors, Directions, Philosophy, Trains Not Subway

Haley Joel Osment Seems to Get Worse Roles Every Year

Teen #1: Are we there yet?
Teen #2: It's right over there.
Teen #3 (screaming): I see it! I see Atlas! It's white, I see it.
Bus driver: Yeah, and I see dead people across the street…you don't hear me screaming.

–Q29 Bus, Atlas Park Mall

Posted on April 6, 2015
Bus Drivers, Colors, Death, Directions, Malls, On the Bus, Public Transportation, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Teens, Weirdness

C'mon a My Wednesday One-Liner!

Man on phone: Come down the road and I'm the first house that you do not see.

–Office Building, W 46th St

Overheard by: TheGreenCat

Black woman on cell: Don't fuck in ma house!

–Union Square Station

10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, my mom says I can fuck a girl in her house, as long as she ain't a skanky-ass ho.

–105th & Broadway

Overheard by: Andy

Girl to friend: We can't hang out at my house. I don't know anyone there anymore.

–125th & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Guy cycling past very fast, to cycling companion: So he bought a whole house just to store pot?

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: peeper

City cop to two homeless guys: If your house is worth like $200,000, you can probably only get a equity loan for like $100,000. (homeless guys nod their heads in agreement)

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: E

Posted on April 4, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Brooklyn, Cops, Directions, Friends, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Home, Sweet Home, Homeless, Insults, Kids, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Office, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Promiscuity, Sex, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Run the Other Underground Railroad

Conductor: This is the 3:07 off peak train to Huntington. Stopping at Woodside, Jamaica, New Hyde Park…blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. Watch the gap. (clicks microphone off)

–LIRR

Conductor: There's a 2 express train right across the platform. Ready, set, go!

–1 Train

Conductor: There's a Brighton Beach-bound b train across the platform. Say that three times fast.

–F Train

Overheard by: Thom Cohen

Conductor: Ladies and gentleman, I have a very important announcement: this is not the last helicopter out of Saigon. I repeat, this is not the last helicopter out of Saigon. There will be another train after this one, and another one after that.

–Downtown 2 Train

Train conductor: This message is for the young man who stepped to the edge of the platform at the front of the train. This train feels no pain, this train has no brain. How about you?

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Guitarbuyer

Bus driver: This is East 18th Street. If you get off here, you'll be at the q train faster. If you choose to not use your god-given walking ability, the q train is next.

–B11 Bus

Overheard by: not using her god given walking ability

Conductor: This is 96th Street. Next stop, 103rd. Everyone ready? And away we go!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Ali