Guy: I need a cigarette…I need a cigarette…I need a cigarette!
Barista chick: Yeah, well I need a blunt but I can’t get one right now!
–Starbucks, 95th & Broadway
Overheard by: Caro
Guy: I need a cigarette…I need a cigarette…I need a cigarette!
Barista chick: Yeah, well I need a blunt but I can’t get one right now!
–Starbucks, 95th & Broadway
Overheard by: Caro
Guy: Hey, let’s go in there. They might have wine or beer.
Girl: Nah, I kinda wanna grab something hard.
–14th St, between 1st and 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Eve
Guy #1: Hey man, how you been?
Guy #2: Good, man.
Guy #1: What you been up to?
Guy #2: …Sorry man, just spaced out.
Guy #1: That’s cool, I am coked out of my mind right now anyway.
–Cobble Hill
Chick: I’d do you.
Kevin Smith: No, you wouldn’t. Not even if you were stoned and drunk.
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Heather
Fruit stand guy: Too much papaya! Too much marijuana! Too much cocaine!
–Dean & Court, Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Zach
Asian girl: You’re not following the diet plan! It’s either junk food or no food!
–Stuyvesant High School
College girl to friend: Tonight’s goal is to make out with a cokehead.
–7th St
Guy on cell: OK, well, be safe. If you get raped make sure he wears a condom.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Daniel
Girl: Don’t let me talk to boys after I take blue pills.
–31st & 2nd
Girl #1: Sometimes he like to rape my ass.
Girl #2: Ew! Hee hee.
–outside The Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: Josh Neufeld
Girl #1: Well, she was raped.
Girl #2: I wasn’t really raped.
–Vertigo, 26th & 3rd
Yuppie chick #1: Sweetie, you’re going to get raped dressed like that.
Yuppie chick #2: No. I have an umbrella.
–Delancey & Allen
Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti
Girl #1: Hey, what is the drug in Turkey that makes you sleepy?
Girl #2: Uhmmm, hashish?
Girl #1: You put hash in your turkey?
Girl #2: What are you talking about?
–1 Train
Overheard by: renee
Barista girl: Here’s your cappuccino.
Customer girl: I asked for a cafe au lait.
Barista girl: No, you said ‘cappuccino.’
Costumer girl: No, I said ‘cafe au lait’
Barista girl: Oh, You’re right. I’m probably just out of it.
Barista girl to coworker: I’m sorry, I’m high.
–Stanton & Ludlow
Overheard by: Aryn
English teacher: Class, I’d like you to remember where the line is. It is always moving, and it is determined by me.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: HJWC
English teacher: I rose up into the air and flew out the window… You didn’t notice this?
–Hunter College High
Overheard by: stupid english student
Old teacher: Okay, there are three rules in this classroom, and I am completely serious. Number one, no swearing. Number two, no scuffles. Number three, no sex until 3:20 when you can do what you want.
–Grace Church School
Teacher: I’m a huge fan of bathroom stall graffiti! My favorite from this school is in the third floor bathroom: ‘If you can read this, you are pooping.’
–Bard High School Early College
Teacher to another: You are a hemorrhoid in my ass.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Health teacher: Drug abuse is a symptom of suicide.
–Hunter College High
English teacher: The next scene is about sex, so pay attention. You might learn something.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
