Wednesday One-Liners Have a Mangina Attack

Man in elevator on cell: Yeah. That's what I'm paying for, right? Next time just make sure it's a male to female.

–Elevator, Chelsea

Staten Island man to son: Okay, you have to be careful here. And don't touch any of the pretty ladies: the prettier they are, the more likely it's a man.

–1st & Houston

Middle aged woman to friend: Every morning I wake up and think I look more and more like Mrs Doubtfire.

–Union Square

Overheard by: mk

Guy in pink spandex to Victorian Gardens employee: Excuse me, where do the trannies hang out?

–Central Park

Preppy chick to friends: Did I ever tell you guys about the tranny I slept with?

–19th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Well-Dressed Indian Boy

Mom, in motherly voice, to crying four-year-old: Aww, what's the matter, did the little transvestite scare you?

–2nd & 72nd

Overheard by: Nancy

Posted on September 3, 2014
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dads, Elevators, Fears, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Moms, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On Cell, Preppies, Questions, Trannies, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Women

Get Ready to Be Afraid! (Happy Halloween)

Man on cell: I have two phobias. The post office and the library. And you want me to go to the post office for you?

–University & 10th

College girl #1: What do you think is the saddest emotion or feeling?
College girl #2: I’m not sure, maybe fear.
College girl #1: Yeah, that’s a good one. Ya know, if we lived in Ethiopia you would have said hunger.

–71st between 2nd & 3rd

Overheard by: Lizz Tooher

Girl: Yeah, I always wear black…I’m, like, scared of colors.

–Elevator, Parsons School of Design

Guy: Yo, that Hamburgler’s a scary motherfucker, ’cause you never know what that nigga be sayin’. He be all “robble robble robble robble” and shit!

–23rd & 6th

Overheard by: Tacologic

Woman: Holy crap, you scared the hell out of me. What are you supposed to be anyway, Hercules?
Man: I’m Thor. Mighty son of Odin.

–N train

Posted on August 31, 2014
Crazies, Elevators, Fears, Girls, Holidays, On Cell, Students, Wednesday One-Liners

She Stole That Fox

Girl #1: Is that a real fur coat?
Girl #2: Yes, oh my god and this woman started yelling at me this morning. I was like, “Please don’t throw blood on me or something. I don’t hate animals; I have a dog!”
Man: Not around your neck.

–Elevator, Broadway & Dey

Posted on August 30, 2014
Animals & Nature, Elevators, Fashion, Man's Best Friend, Manhattan, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, We Love Our Pets

At Salivation Army HQ

Girl in crowded elevator: You're not sweating. It must not be hot.
Guy: Yeah, but my tongue is blistering. I should probably see a doctor.

–7th Ave

Posted on August 25, 2014
Body Parts, Elevators, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Heat, Sweat

Don’t Forget Grandma Today Either!

Woman #1: I got my grandmother the hugest card for Mother’s Day. She likes things that are really big.
Man: See, and they always told me that size doesn’t matter.
Woman #1: It really doesn’t matter what it says; she doesn’t understand English, anyway.
Woman #2: Do you think giving her the big card makes her understand it better the same way people think that talking louder to people who can’t speak English make them understand you?

–14th Street elevator

Posted on August 7, 2014
Age/Aging, Creepsters, Elevators, Holidays, Idiots, Penis, Women

“The black eye is from the BF, I think.”

NYU Girl #1: Oh my god! I was so drunk this weekend, and now my legs are covered in bruises. They look terrible, you have no idea. I don’t even know how I got them.
NYU Girl #2: Ha, ha! I love when that happens. I love drunk bruises.

–NYU Elevator

Overheard by: Stephanie

Posted on July 23, 2014
Drinking & Drunk People, Elevators, Health and Hygiene, NYU, Students, Stupidity

The Definition of Pollution

Drunk Girl: Ha ha, I’m talking so loud. I’m making such ear pollution.
Drunk Guy: Nooo, it’s called noise pollution…
Drunk Girl: But like, what is noise pollution?
Drunk Guy: I dunno…I think it’s like when you’re vulgar, so I try not to curse all the time. That way, when I say like “oh fuck” everyone will be all like “Whoaaaaaa.”

–NYU Dorm Elevator

Overheard by: Stephanie

Posted on July 17, 2014
Drunks, Elevators, Manhattan, NYU

“Sorry, I’m used to having others behind me.”

Queer #1: When’s the only time you’re supposed to walk in front of a woman?
Queer #2: Let me think…
Queer #1: If you’re walking down the stairs. That way, if she falls you can break her fall and catch her. So when you came on this elevator in front of this young lady, you were being rude!

–Midtown elevator

Posted on July 15, 2014
Elevators, Etiquette, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Queer guys

“…so that’s why I’m lactating!”

Fashionista guy: Did you hear about Ange?
Fashionista girl: No, what?
Fashionista guy: She’s pregnant!
Fashionista girl: Oh my god! The whole world is pregnant!
Fashionista guy: Seriously.

–Midtown elevator

Posted on July 15, 2014
Elevators, Fashionistas, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Philosophy, Pregnancy & Birth Control

“I wasn’t lying, I swear!”

Girl #1: Who’s Rob?
Girl #2: The one with the girlfriend…You know! The one who was right front and center when my pants caught on fire.

–Elevator, 50th & Broadway

Posted on July 9, 2014
Elevators, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, Nicknames & name calling

Elevators