Mom: Indiana isn’t a state; I’m not sure it will be on there…Oh.
–JFK
Overheard by: Pierre-François Dubois
Mom: Indiana isn’t a state; I’m not sure it will be on there…Oh.
–JFK
Overheard by: Pierre-François Dubois
8-year-old: Today Jahzeer and Wassef told Steven he was gay and lesbian! And Steven started to cry!
Older sister: Oh. And did you tell them that wasn’t very nice?
8-year-old: No. The teacher started yelling at them! It was very entertaining. I was excited to be there.
–Corona, Queens
Overheard by: Amy
Hobo #1: What’s my name, man? What’s my name?
Hobo #2: Shit…I know yo’ name…
Hobo #1: What’s my name? Yo’ name is Joe Smith. See, you don’t even know my name!
Hobo #2: I know yo’ name…but you gotta tell me yo’ name first.
Hobo #1: We in Heaven right now…if you see me, you not gonna know my name!
Hobo #2: Shit, we in Heaven right now? That’s fucked up!
Hobo #1: I told you my name like a hundred times. I’m Larry. What’s my name?
Hobo #2: You ain’t told me yet!
Hobo #1: All right…we in kindergarten now. What’s my name?
Hobo #2: Heaven. Man, that’s messed up.
Hobo #1: Man, I love you.
–A train
Overheard by: Mikey
Hustler for the homeless: Give 25 cents to end homelessness. Just 25 cents so America won’t be homeless. Excuse me, sir, do you want to help?
Suit: Nope. I don’t like America.
Hustler for the homeless: Well, have fun with your fucking Russian army, sir.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Spoons
Crazy guy: Yo! Hey, Superman!
A dude with a Superman shirt looks horrified.
Crazy guy: Yo, man! I’m just like you! I’m Spider-Man!
He pulls up his shirt and yanks his underwear up out from under his pants, revealing a Spider-Man logo.
Crazy guy: See? You know, if you wasn’t a dude, I wouldn’t have shown you.
The Superman dude sees two younger girls watching and laughing.
Crazy guy: Yo, don’t talk about me when you get off the train!
–L train
Overheard by: Matthias
White guy: Nigga, please.
White girl: That’s not okay. Don’t say that.
White guy: Nigga, thank you?
–L train
Overheard by: Alison F
Guido father to daughter and her gay friend: He was a real cocksucker… (realizes gay friend might be offended) But you know…not in the, uh, bad way.
Gay friend: Oh, believe me, I've met plenty of bad cocksuckers.
–LIRR
Overheard by: bill
Teenage boy, yelling at his iPod: Damn it, damn it, dammit! Damn stupid thing. Dammit!
Old lady passing by: You should be ashamed of yourself. Do you talk like that in front of your mother?
Teenage boy: Don't blame me, blame Jack Bauer. Damn it.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Haley
Girl #1: So you burped in his face and told him “Will you marry me?”
Girl #2: Yeah, pretty much.
–86th Street 4/5/6 station
Woman #1: Ma’am, could you please move your bag so I could sit down?
Woman #2: No, can’t you see I’m busy, bitch? And I’m not movin this fuckin’ thing. It’s heavy and I don’t want to pick it up again! Sit somewhere else.
She goes back to reading Jesus and Mary: The Key to Divine Love and Inner Peace.
–149th St station downtown platform
