Fashionista gets off elevator, bumping into guys on her way out.
Balding Greek guy: You know what she needs? A good dick up the ass, that’s what she needs!
Black guy: That’s what all them bitches need.
–1407 Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
Fashionista gets off elevator, bumping into guys on her way out.
Balding Greek guy: You know what she needs? A good dick up the ass, that’s what she needs!
Black guy: That’s what all them bitches need.
–1407 Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
Little girl: …but Mom!
Mom: Say it one more time, motherfucker!
–Pathmark, Cherry Street
Girl #1: How’s your va… [inaudible].
Girl #2: Shhhh.
Girl #1: Your vagina!
Girl #2, flustered: Shhhh!
Girl #1: Didn’t your vibrator break?
[Everyone turns around to stare.]
–Butler Library, Columbia University
Girl: So I’m going to meet her in 20 minutes.
Queer: Ugh, why? She’s such a cow. When I came out to her, she was like, "It’s always about you, Mike*."
Girl: Yeah, well, I’m sure her reaction would be very different now that she has an MSW.
–Chickpea, St Mark’s & 3rd
Overheard by: Dan
Chick #1: You were way too hard on my dad back there.
Chick #2: I know, I’m sorry… I just get so heated.
Chick #1: Still, “homophobic asshole” is a little harsh, don’t you think?
–Park Row
Little boy, to male conductor: Where’s the snack bar, ma’am?
Mom: Good, you’re being polite!
–Amtrak, Penn Station
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Man, after bumping into girl: Sorry.
Girl: Sorry.
Man: Actually, I’m not sorry, that was fun!
–Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: sternie
An Asian woman is talking loudly on her cell phone
Fat Black lady: You need to move to the back of the damn bus. We don’t wanna hear that ching-chang ching-chong bullshit!
–Q34 bus
Overheard by: Lauren
Student: Um, would we really use the extremely polite form with random strangers on the street?
Japanese teacher, exuberantly: Oh yes, definitely.
Class: [Laughter.]Japanese teacher: I’m not kidding, you don’t want to make them think you like them or want to get close to them… they’re a stranger! You want to keep as much emotional distance from them as possible.
–Japanese Class, Columbia University
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Nice guy #1: Hey, miss, would you like my seat?
Preggers: No.
Nice guy #2: Here, take mine. I’m getting off soon.
Preggers: For the love of God, I fucking said no! People these days gotta learn themselves some English.
–Bronx-bound 4 train
