Wednesday One-Liners Get Aufed

Heinously-dressed chick on cell: I wish I could see you today! I’m wearing a really cool outfit!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: fashionbly competent

Ghetto chick: I hate skinny jeans. Them shits be mad tight!

–H&M, 125th St

Overheard by: Alison R.

Girl: Okay, those might be Givenchy, but she totally bought them at DSW.

–Houston & Broadway

Salesperson: The trousers are unfinished so you have to go to a tailor when you get home and have them fitted. Are there any tailors where you come from?

–Macy’s

Overheard by: Other suit-buying tourist

Two UES ladies passing by a child laughing at her reflection in upscale shoe store window: That baby has a head start — she already likes stilettos.

–79th & Lex

Overheard by: B.B.

Girl to guy: You should just wear nude leggings!

–1 train

Overheard by:

Girl on cell: Those are the gayest jeans I’ve ever seen. As long as you wear them, you will always be gay. Congratulations.

–H&M, SoHo

Posted on December 12, 2017
All Wednesday One-Liners, Fashion, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Don't Lesbians Keep Nuts Away from Their Ears?

Sporty teen girl: So, I'm pretty sure Amy* is a lesbian. She never straightens her hair, and she always wears those coconut earrings…
Blonde friend: You wear coconut earrings.
Sporty teen girl: Yeah, but not every day!

–Central Park

Posted on November 28, 2017
Central Park, Fashion, Gays and Lesbians, Gossip, Parks, Physical appearance, Teens

I’m Pretty Sure That’s Noman

Man: That’s a nice necklace.
Woman: Thank you. It’s something my sister brought back from…either Acapulco or the Poconos, whichever one’s an island.

–Office, 45th & 3rd

Posted on October 26, 2017
Bimbettes, Family Ties, Fashion, Gifts, Global Geography, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Office, Stupidity

It’s Going to Be One F-ed Up Threesome Tonight

Little girl: I have those shoes!
Queer: Oh my God! Get out of my town! That’s so cool!

–14th street A/C/E station

Posted on October 23, 2017
Fashion, Kids, Manhattan, Queer guys, Queers, The Village

Wednesday One-Liners Mention the Unmentionables

Man, pointing at window display: That’ll make a nice gift for the wife: a pair of underwear that say “SALE” across the ass. Classy.

–Outside Victoria’s Secret, Herald Square

Overheard by: sean

Hipster chick: Quite frankly I’d rather wash all my bras tonight.

–F train

Overheard by: braincurve

Woman to five elderly ladies: All right, ladies, put your underwear on and let’s go.

–L&B Spumoni Gardens, 86th St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld

Chick on cell: So how long did it take the four of you to find your bra the next morning?

–Harlem

Overheard by: Jess is hot.

Girl on cell: I am so not letting my underwear go on a date with his underwear.

–Prince & Broadway

Posted on October 3, 2017
Brooklyn, Fashion, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Manhattan, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, People, Places, Sex & Relationships, Shopping, Soho

So Now We Hate Her, Right?

Preteen #1: Oh my god, I’m wearing pink underwear today.
Preteen #2: Really? Remember that time I wore that pink dress?
Preteen #1: Yeah, but I mean, like, Victoria’s Secret-pink.
Preteen #2: Oh, right, I love those.
Preteen #1, after a beat: Hey, do you like eggs?
Preteen #2: Um, of course I do. Who doesn’t like eggs?
Preteen #1: My friend hates eggs.
Preteen #2: Oh my god, no way.
Preteen #1: Yeah, but she likes cheese. It’s okay.
Preteen #2: Oh, okay. That’s good.
Preteen #1: Yeah. She likes both kinds of cheese.
Preteen #2: Ew, I only like that one kind.

–Fitting room, Macy’s

Overheard by: awkward annie

Posted on August 23, 2017
Fashion, Food, Kids, Store

Where Have All the Metrosexuals Gone?

Guy #1: I think I'm going to go to Fortunoff's after work tomorrow to get the ring.
Guy #2: Why don't you just go to that place around the corner? You know, uh… Stephanie's!
Guy #1: You mean Tiffany's?
Guy #2: Yeah! Tiffany's!

–Financial District

Overheard by: Sarah Booz