Guy: Damn, this escalator’s small…fat bitches can’t get on this.
–Movie Theater, Times Square
Overheard by: Alayna
Guy: Damn, this escalator’s small…fat bitches can’t get on this.
–Movie Theater, Times Square
Overheard by: Alayna
Chubby Chick: Dude, I missed your set because I was hungry!
–Opaline, Ave. A
A woman blocks the entire stairway. The man behind her says: Lady, if ya gotta be fat an’ slow, could ya do it in fronna somebody else?
–Union Square station
A portly Russian man sits down in between me and an Italian woman this morning. I bite my tongue. She does not: You’re joking, right? You don’t fit! You should just pick yourself up!
–D Train
Husky male employee, singing along to radio in high pitch voice: “I'm looking at the man in the mirror…”
Female employee passing by: Sing it!
Husky male employee: I'm trying!
–K-Mart, Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
Large man #1, watching women delivering flowers: (grumbles)
Large man #2: What? What do you want flowers for?
Large man #1: They might open up, you know, look pretty.
Large man #2: No! You don't get no flowers! You're a man!
–Community Center, East Village
Overheard by: Flower Power
Obese girl, sweetly, to even bigger boyfriend: Honey, you're taking up two seats.
Boyfriend, very earnestly: Oh! Sorry, baby!
(he condenses his mass from three seats to two)
–7 Train
Upper East Side crone: I just came back from Sudan, and there was nothing to buy there!
–Gift Shop, American Folk Art Museum
Hick obese wife to hick obese husband: Sometimes I like Wal-Mart better, sometimes I like K-Mart better. It depends on the day.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Emily Faxon
Tourist lady on cell: No, I was in the store the entire time! I got 8 pashminas!
–Canal St
Overheard by: Canadian Girl
Cheerful 10-year-old with cornrows to 30-something woman: This is a world famous store! So don't be surprised if you're still here at one o'clock!
–Macy's, 7th Ave
Asian girl, pointing to D'Agostino: Oh, that's D'Agostino. It's like a Japanese grocery store or something.
–10th St & University
Upper East Side mom: I shop at Target because I like to support out local businesses whenever I can.
–62nd & 3rd
Suit on cell: Yeah, we'll be whoring ourselves out. But that's what we do.
–53rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: I wish I got a bailout.
20-something suit: Beating a redneck at beer pong while wearing a suit is the classiest thing ever.
–79th St & Broadway
Overheard by: next victim
Suit: Ahahahaha! Haha! Ahhh. Fuck everyone.
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Suit on cell: C'mon, man, it's only 300 grand.
–45th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Kári Emil Helgason
Fat suit to hottie: Hey! I have money! (hottie walks on by) Really! I do! (she doesn't stop) Fuck it. You don't care. But I do!
–3rd Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Old suit to another, both laughing: I owe money, but not my money… other people's money!
–60th St & Lexington
Overheard by: J
Thin, younger sister: What's with all the magazine ads?
Slightly overweight, older sister: It's thinspiration.
Thin, younger sister: I will kill you.
–Lobby, Hampton Inn
Chubby girl: Hi, your top is gorgeous! Where'd you get it?
Skinny girl: Um, Greece.
Chubby girl: Well, aren't you special?
–Union Square
