Young college girl #1: So she said to do Kegel exercises when you are on the subway.
Young college girl #2: That makes sense. When you’re on the subway no one knows you are doing them!
Young college girl #3: [tries to wrap legs over head] Is this how you do them? Wait, aren’t they supposed to make you tighter?
–E Train
Overheard by: I do them at work
African man, yelling into cell: I am not riding a bike! I’m not a machine! I’m not a machine! I’m not a wheel!
–W 23rd St
Overheard by: I’m a train!
Loud chick on cell: So I told him he’s gotta do some exercises or something to keep up with me. I mean, he doesn’t do any foreplay or anything, just climbs his fat ass on top of me…
–37th & Broadway
Guy on phone at sandwich shop: How am I? Well, that’s a complicated quesion -do you mean right now, or in general? Because right now, Lisa’s got a really bad cold and is all set up on the couch and I just got back from a eulogy for a friend’s pop. So now I’m getting a coffee and then I plan on riding the bicycle at the gym -’cause that’s the closest I can get to heroin. How are you?
–85th & Columbus Ave
Lady, to marathon wheelchair participants: Don’t just sit there, go go go!
–99th & 5th, NYC Marathon
Grown woman, clapping and bouncing up and down: Yaaaaaaay, I get to go on the slide!
–76th & York
Ten-year-old girl leaving the midnight showing of Harry Potter: Ugh. I am never working out again!
–68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Dad in pet food aisle, near huge bags of kitty litter: You can’t haul that.
Son: 190 pounds of solid muscle, man.
Dad, snorting: Thought that was canoli.
–Key Food, 4th St & Avenue A
Overheard by: Michelle
Gym rat #1: Yeah, I go to a great gym… And it’s not a fashion show like other places — people are there to work out.
Gym rat #2: Yeah?
Gym rat #1: Yeah. And the girls there? Oh, man, they are so hot. That is the best thing about it.
–6 train platform, Union Square
Overheard by: rory solomon
Metrosexual: Do you think she’s a Volvic kind of girl or more of a Poland Spring or Crystal Geyser?
Girlfriend: Ummm, I see her as a Volvic… Maybe not.
Metrosexual: I think I’ll go with Poland Spring. I hope she likes it.
Girlfriend: I hope you’re right.
–Deli, 36th & 8th
Overheard by: Maybe she likes the Hudson…
20-ish guy to pal: I didn’t go to the gym today, and I feel so liberated!
–W 25th & 10th
Overheard by: Gerry Visco
Stylish guy on cell: Well, yeah, I’m completely insane, but I’m in great, great, great shape!
–Christopher & 7th
Overheard by: robadob
Russian thug: Man, I don’t know how I’m going to have enough energy for the gym and sex tonight!
–Subway, near Brighton Beach
Overheard by: lk!
Guido pointing to his wifebeater: These things only last you so long. First time, you know, you wear it to the club, it’s still tight and shit. Second time you wear it around the house. Third time, that’s when you wear it to the gym. Then you throw it out! Wear a new one back to the club!
–NYC gym
Personal trainer lady: I was up in Greenwich training Mary Tyler Moore… Yeah, she’s old, but rockin’ bod.
–Metro-North train, 125th St
Overheard by: DrJones
Smoker guy: We should train for the marathon!
–50th & 6th
Jogging yuppie #1: Yeah, and then we went climbing up a cliff.
Jogging yuppie #2: Naked?
–69th & Park
Skinny fashionista: If you just eat like I eat and exercise, you’ll lose weight. I swear!
Normal woman: But you hardly eat anything. Don’t you get hungry?
Skinny fashionista: You are totally missing the point!
–Bar, Soho Grand
Overheard by: Manhattman
Fat kid: Can we take the elevator?
Dad: No, Charlie, come up the stairs.
Fat kid: But this is IMPOSSIBLE!
Dad: No, it isn’t impossible. Now move up the stairs.
–Subway, Bryant Park
Overheard by: Rita
Girl on cell: Oh my God, my love handles are out of control. When I was getting ready tonight, my fat got caught in my zipper.
–49th & 2nd
Overweight girl: Guys don’t know what they’re missing. There’s some fine pussy under this gut!
–Queens College
Overheard by: Jimbob Watson
Old Italian woman: If I die fat, whatever. Just as long as I make everyone else fat before I go, that’s fine. They can diet after I’m gone. Just keep my recipes is all I’m sayin’, ya know?
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Dennis
Guy: There should be more laws about people on planes. I once had to sit next to this really fat guy. He was so unapologetic about it! The rogue fat was spilling onto me.
–G train
Shrewd observer, commenting on NYU freshmen: They’re so ugly, and a lot of them haven’t started smoking yet so they’re really fat.
–St. Mark’s & 3rd
Little girl to large woman at paper towel dispenser: I didn’t get any, stupid fat lady!
–Women’s restroom, Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Robyn Z
Art student: You ever seen a fat guy fall on a car? Like, the car just happened to be there?
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Overheard by: TeN22
