Hobo: Spare some change, miss?
Hipster girl: I have some food. It’s still warm, you want it?
Hobo: No, thanks. I’m on a special diet. I don’t eat food.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky
Hobo: Spare some change, miss?
Hipster girl: I have some food. It’s still warm, you want it?
Hobo: No, thanks. I’m on a special diet. I don’t eat food.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky
Friend #1: It smells like green beans on this train!
Friend #2: Your mom smells like green beans.
Friend #1: (pauses) I know.
–F Train
Guy: Yeah, they say that now in France they’re banning Muslim women from wearing overalls.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: H. Chan
Black woman on cell: …and then she says to me “I like that song!” and I go, “Yeah, well I like fish and avocado peels.”
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Fernando Taveras
Guy: If you was dead, then you’d know what I’m talkin’ ’bout.
–J train
Suit: Did they tip their 45s to their homies?
–Park Avenue
Overheard by: SuperVixen
Suit on phone: 500 milligrams? That's nothing. First, you need to start looking at the definition of possession…
–Broadway & Reade
Suit to little son: I need to teach you the difference between "homos" and "hobos." You'll understand easily, (giggles) …not much of a difference.
–Doctor's Office, Carrol Gardens
Suit on phone, snickering: Your posts are turd sandwiches!
–4th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: ris
Suit on cell: I say go for it. You're rich, she's hungry. What could be more perfect?
–47th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Adrienne
Obese cashier lady: This soy milk supposed to make you slender?
Woman: Uh, I dunno.
Skinny cashier lady: Girl, ain’t no soy milk gonna make your fat ass slender!
Obese cashier lady: Shut your ass up.
–Gristedes, West 64th Street
Overheard by: vegannramember
Man #1: I’m talkin’ about cup noodles, nigga.
Man #2: Them shits is good.
Man #1: They’s cheaper than mac and cheese.
Man #2: Mac and cheese went up by a dollar!
Man #1: Tell me you is playin’!
–L train
Overheard by: Mason Buck
Cashier lady: How come this rings up as “Homo Milk”?
–K-mart, East 8th Street
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Loudspeaker: Aisle 10 is now open for customers with less than a million items.
–Key Food, Astoria
Overheard by: Christa
Middle-aged woman on her cell: Where are you? Don’t get the pizza, it’s too many calories. Just get a salad or something. Well, I only say that because I had a nightmare last night where you got big. It was awful. Oh, honey, come on I love you, stop.
I’m just saying, if you had a dream that a building was collapsing and a guy was about to walk into it, wouldn’t you say “stop”? Well, then we agree.
–Pax Wholesome Foods, 6th & 40th
Mom: What was it we needed to do again?
Daughter: Get pepper for the zombies.
Mom: Oh, yes, right.
–5th Ave
Loud guy: That’s because you have an awesome metabolism.
Loud girl: No, that’s because I have IBS.
–Diner
Overheard by: Jackie
Loud middle aged guy on cell: Hello? What? Where's the meat? It's on the counter. I took it out last night. It was half frozen. Okay. (some time goes by) Hello? Who is this? Kiah? I took it out last night. It's on the counter. No, it's good. It was half frozen. Noooo, it's fine. It's not ruined! It's good. Noooooooooo. It's not ruined! I'll eat it, leave it for me. I'll eat it tonight and all the way to Shabbat, it will be my pleasure, it will be delicious. (some time goes by) I'm getting off the train. I'm coming home. They're mad about the meat. (Now almost on the verge of crying) It's not ruuuined. Noooooooooooo. It's goooood. Why is the meat no good? It's not ruuuined. Noooooooooooooooooooooo.
–Q Train
Father: You dip it in pork?
Son: I dip it in pork.
–87th & 1st
Overheard by: Beeeej
