Drunk girl in bathroom: It's so warm it here! I don't want to leave!
Friend: I know!
–Beer Garden, Queens
Overheard by: next stall over
Drunk girl in bathroom: It's so warm it here! I don't want to leave!
Friend: I know!
–Beer Garden, Queens
Overheard by: next stall over
20-something guy: We do need to get jobs, but it's so hard to get ready in the morning!
20-something lesbian friend: What could you possibly have to do in the morning to get ready? You're a bro!
20-something guy: I always have to set my alarm three hours before I actually have to go.
20-something lesbian friend: You *can't* be serious. It takes you three hours to get ready for, like, class?
20-something guy, totally serious: No, it takes me three hours to get out of bed. After that I just walk out the door.
–Fordham Road, The Bronx
Sloppy drunk girl to random girl passing by: Fuck as many guys as you possibly can.
Random girl: Umm…
(sloppy girl's drunk friends nod their heads)
Sloppy drunk girl: I'm serious.
–Fordham University
Irritated: And what exactly am I supposed to do with a dead rat?
Medicated: (shrugs)
–53th & 8th
16-year-old girl to friend: Halfway through the date he took out a puppet and started singing.
Excited friend: Really? Oh my god, he is husband material!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Justin
Young teen girl: White Castle? Why can't it be called “Black Castle”?
Friend: That would just be awkward.
–White Castle, Harlem
Overheard by: Katie B.
Freaked-out college chick, pointing at large bump on friend's stomach : Ah! What is that?
Flustered 20-something, in coarse Boston accent: What the hell's the matter with you? You've never had a chocolate-covered raisin in your belly button before?
–St. John's University Queens Campus
Overheard by: What about a milk dud?
Sick cop to another: The way I see it, you've got seven holes in your head. If you don't wanna get sick, you just gotta keep your fingers out of those seven holes. Then you'll be good.
–ER, Saint Vincent Hospital
Overheard by: Dustin
Old-school pimp on cell: I'm sick. (pause) Naw, baby, I just want you to bring me some money and chicken soup.
–96th & Columbus Ave
Woman on phone: Yeah, I'm doing really well. I just have some cancerous issues. But other than that, I'm great!
–East Village
Overheard by: Erin
Woman to friend: So I was worried I had a urinary tract infection or something, even though it didn't hurt when I was peeing. But it turns out it was just a pube stuck in my clit.
–R Train
Overheard by: what the hell?
Guy to friend: So, I finally got athlete's foot.
–116th & Broadway
Chick to guy friend: Well, if you hadn't spent the entire morning cursing out yo momma, then you wouldn't had gotten swine flu!
–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Amused Freshman
Hippie girl on cell: Hey, mom! How are you? (pause) Not so good, actually, my bloodwork just came back and I have Lyme disease! (pause) I know…it's like 70 degrees here!
–42nd & Park Ave
Overheard by: AwkwardTwig
Guy to friend: So, Kirsten's cute.
Friend: I only like her in her leggings.
–NYU
Overheard by: yomama
