Goth girl: I'm not going to lie, I love the new Britney album.
Brunette friend: What? You like Britney?
Goth girl: Yeah. I have a dark side, you know.
–5th Ave & 13th St
Goth girl: I'm not going to lie, I love the new Britney album.
Brunette friend: What? You like Britney?
Goth girl: Yeah. I have a dark side, you know.
–5th Ave & 13th St
Black woman: Girl, I be crazy!
Friend: I know!
Black woman: I mean, that nigga break up with me, and I just start in with the rip-rip-rip, and I tore up his clothes, and his furs, right?
Friend: Right!
Black woman: And then he come home, and that nigga be cryin'! And I'm like, “No furs, no car, no nothin! You thought it was over? Now it's over!”
Friend: Yeah!
Black woman: And he can't do nothin' to me–I'll have his ass thrown in jail, you know. And then get him ass-raped.
Friend: What?
Black woman: Yeah, my dad's in prison. How about that, nigga? I put your ass in jail, then I get you ass-raped!
Friend: You are one crazy bitch!
Black woman: You know it! All right honey, here's the subway, gotta go, love you!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Girl with camera to group of friends: No, get in front of the train tracks so I can take a picture!
Friend: We look like such tourists.
Girl with camera: No, I swear, if I lived here, I'd take pictures all the time.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: Benny
Thin 20-something: Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.
Heavier friend: Unless you melt some mozzarella on it!
–BBQ, The Bronx
Drunk girl: Hey, you know that girl over there?
Sober friend: Yeah.
Drunk girl: She's… She's a virgin… In all ways.
–F Train
White dude to black friend: Do you want to see my meat?
Asian dude, to no one in particular: You know, the stereotype isn't true. It isn't true!
Flustered party hostess: This is so not what I need to hear right now.
–W 11th St
Recycling activist: I myself used to be a plastic bottle!
–Outside BLT Burger, 6th Ave
Overheard by: sromeo
Student: Why the fuck are people still building greenhouses if we have the greenhouse effect?
–Columbia University
20-something to friend: I don't understand the sudden concern about global warming…I mean, it's what happened at the end of the Ice Age!
–LaGuardia Community College, Long Island
Overheard by: lulah
Greenpeace worker: Hey! Do you fucking care about the environment?
–Washington Square Park
Greenpeace guy, with puppy dog face: Are you sad about the trees?
–78th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: citysnidget
Professor: Let's take a poll: who thinks I am gay?
–Lehman College
Flamboyant gay guy to butch gay guy: You, like, sneeze glitter. That's how gay you are!
–9th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: TR
Daughter to sobbing mother: Mom! Seriously, stop! I'm going to slap you. (mom continues sobbing) I'm not gay! Relax, okay?
–New Utrecht High School
Overheard by: Straight girl
Tween girl to friend: He's 17 years old and he doesn't have any kids? What? Is he gay?
–A Train
Teenage boy: Even if it's with a girl, it's still gay.
–L Train
Overheard by: Sean
Disgruntled MTA worker, to no one in particular: See? I don't like human beings all that much. I like animals, they mo' fo' real. (venomously) Y'all better be glad I'm not god.
–6 Train
30-something white guy to friends: I live in Mesopotamia, 'cause the gods are gangsta!
–W 83rd & Columbus Ave
Older MTA worker, comforting young passenger: GPS: Guidance, patience, strength. Give it over to god. Trust that motherfucker is going to handle it. Give me GPS and I can handle the rest!
–Union Square Subway Stop
Bag lady, drenched in rain: The joke's on you, god!
–9th St & University Place
20-something guy on phone: So then she tells me the reason my dad died is because god was trying to hurt me!
–Union Square
Overheard by: talker's remorse
30-something: I mean…he's a good looking guy, but then he found god.
–39th St
Fat guy in telephone booth: Yeah, well, Hitler invented the Volkswagen bus.
–7th Ave & Waverly
Overheard by: Mark Martin
Woman in alpine hat to another: I was not about to drag your half-conscious ass around a concentration camp!
–Zum Schneider German Restaurant/Bar
Overheard by: Nella
Guy: Jury duty is like the Holocaust. They put you in line and march you into a strange room.
–Off The Wagon Restaurant
Overheard by: thankfully not jewish
Teen boy: Yeah, after I watched that movie I couldn't talk to German people at all. For like a month afterwards, every time I saw a person who looked German I was like, "you evil, evil Nazi!"
–Bull Statue, Bowling Green
Little boy to friends: And next year, we're going to assassinate Hitler!
–66th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Liz
