Toddler being towed by mom, bawling: But I want that to be my surprise now!
Convenience Store
Greenwich, Connecticut
Overheard by: Tyrone
Toddler being towed by mom, bawling: But I want that to be my surprise now!
Convenience Store
Greenwich, Connecticut
Overheard by: Tyrone
Guy #1: What are you going to get your girlfriend for her birthday?
Guy #2: I got her this sweater she wanted. But I'm also going to get her a dildo in case she doesn't like the sweater. That way she can go fuck herself.
Roosevelt Field Mall
Long Island, New York
Flight attendant: As we prepare to disembark, please check to make sure you have not abandoned any bags, personal items or children. All abandoned items will be divided up among the flight attendants, except the children, who will be given to the captain.
JetBlue Flight
Woman to man: She said that if she leaves her husband, I can have the handcuffs.
UC Berkeley’s campus
Berkeley, California
Guy: My cousin got me this Jesus bracelet in like Cuba or something. It was only a dollar!
Jewish girl: Jesus shouldn’t have a price!
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: oh, jesus
Professor: Has anyone ever eaten anything that made them sick, and now they have an aversion to it? [A few students reply.] Yeah, I think it happens to everyone… Like for me, it’s those small, white powdered doughnuts. I just can’t eat them anymore — they taste furry now, and the thought of something furry in my mouth makes me gag. [Pause.] I think I’ve said too much.
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: well, now I’m jsut curious…
Mom: I think that I will get him his first Rubik’s Cube. He’d probably eat it.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/he_doesnt_seem_to_be_ready.html
Overheard by: someone who doesnt eat rubik’s cubes
Quartet member #1: … And now for some delicious candy from my stalker!
Quartet member #2: I love her! She’s so sweet!
Musicians’ lounge, Kohl Mansion
California
Dad to table full of preteens: If everyone’s good, they can get one tattoo and one piercing.
Pei Wei, 7th Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Ken
Short girl: I’m gonna go and buy you a birthday card.
Tall girl: Yeah, you didn’t buy me anything for my birthday!
Short girl: Yes, I did! I bought your fingers!
Tall girl: Oh, yeah! [Laughs.]
Magnolia Mall
Florence, South Carolina