Man introducing lady friend to pal: This is Lucille, my ex-wife… She’s my second cousin… She was also my second wife.

–136th St, Harlem

Middle-aged woman: I have such a bad memory! I know, I know. I know. There are times I go to my daughter, ‘How do I spell my name?’

–D train

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Loud woman on cell: She’s evil! Don’t you know she killed mama? That’s the family secret!

–Q83 bus

Overheard by: It’s Jady, BiTChesss!!

Guy talking on cell: I completely understand that she was pissed off, but I mean, come on! She did hit her sister in the head with an iron!

–11th Ave

Lady: So, I bought my niece a gift. I don’t know why… She’s such an ungrateful little bitch.

–Grand Central

Man on cell: … So she said, ‘There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’m just gonna say it… You have a four-year-old son.’

–26th & Park

Overheard by: Nick