Creepy guy: So, how much hair do you have up there?
Fuzzy-haired chick with hair in a bun: Yeah, if I don't braid it at night, it's all…
Creepy guy: Ho, I like it. I want to crawl in and make a nest there.
Fuzzy-haired chick: Yeah, that would be cool.
–The Strand
Overheard by: stephie
Teen boy: Yo, why do they call it a quarter to 8? It’s 15 minutes, and 25 is a quarter.
Girl: Huh?
Teen boy: If I say a quarter to 8, what time is it? It’s 7:45, but that doesn’t make no sense, it should be 7:35, a quarter is 25 not 15. You still don’t get it do you?
Girl: No, I get it, I get it.
Boy: It just doesn’t make no sense.
–Q54 Bus, Queens
Overheard by: Emily
Headline by: Brian Q
Runners-Up:
· “At half past eight, he had a profound revelation” – born dumb and in denial
· “Cents and Sensibility” – Jeannine
· “Don’t get him started on “25 or 6 to 4″” – Morgan Charles
· “He may be dumb, but he’s perpetually early” – Josh H
· “Hobo: I’ll take either” – Jedipus
· “How Parking Meters Rip Us Off” – meter man
· “Kid has a point” – ello
· “Metric time claims another victim” – remark
· “Still searching for his 25 minutes of fame…” – C.T. Aiken
· “Time is money, but the dollar is weak” – Mike Britton
Nerd: They should have an alphabet bar… You know, where they sell you alphabets.
Girl: Wow, are you the new freak on the gymnastics team?
–Bronx Science Gymnastics Team
Overheard by: LSb
Girl #1: Are we talking about ‘He who shall not be named’?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: So, fuck him!
Girl #2: I should.
–Subway restaurant
Girl #1: We went to her house upstate.
Girl #2: How was it? Is it nice?
Girl #1: Yeah, it's really nice.
Girl #2: Oh… Okay. So it's not like Sex and the City no air-conditioning? It's like hey, I have a tennis court?
Girl #1: Yeah, definitely… and a pool.
–Greene & Waverly
White female Columbia student (singing in the rain): Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams.
Black heavy male stranger: Let it wash away my sanity.
–114th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: 'cause I wanna feel the thunder I wanna scream
Girl: We were really drunk and didn't use a condom the other night.
Friend: It happens.
Girl: Afterward, he joked that I should get tested.
Friend: Hahaha, really?
Girl: We both laughed, it was funny…then he said, “no, seriously.”
–Williamsburg
Female shopper to Bloomingdale's cologne sprayer: Don't you dare spray your $30 over my $150.
–Perfume Aisle, Bloomingdale's
Old lady on cell: I mean, it's just five million…
–Madison & 77th St
Very rich mom to new nanny, about baby in stroller: Okay, well, she loves sushi, and…
–Upper East Side
Rich teen: I asked my mom to go to Louis Vuitton with me this weekend and she was like, "we're in a recession, let's go to Dolce."
–42nd St
Overheard by: I want a m6
Label-whore eating grapes and cheese, to friend: Oh my god, I feel so rich when I eat this stuff… Oh, wait, I am.
–Paul's Cafe
Girl #1: I'm gonna pee on you.
Girl #2: I peed on someone before.
Girl #3: Golden showers bring May flowers.
–34th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Robert Wood
Asian girl: I was going down the stairs just now, and this girl was getting seriously upset over how horrible she looks today. Then the boy she was with went all, ‘Oh my god, stop it!’ and asked me, ‘Doesn’t she look good today?’
White girl: And then?
Asian girl: I told him she looks lovely, and came here.
White girl: Oh.
Asian girl: But goddammit, I wanted to slap her upside the face! I mean, don’t go around crying over how ugly you look when you’re obviously skinny and gorgeous — that just makes you a bitch!
White girl: Mmm-hm. Seriously.
–Bronx Science
