Guy to date: Well, when it’s like when I’m on a roadtrip, even if I need to pee, I don’t, I force myself to keep it in, it’s like a control thing. Totally about power. [Date gets up to go to the bathroom.] Hurry back! I want to tell you more!
Date: Yeah, it’s really… Powerful.
–Soup’N’Burger, Broadway & Astor
Overheard by: rpk
Teen boy #1: We’re getting back pretty late. What are you going to tell your mom?
Teen boy #2: I’ll say we were at dinner until 10:00, and–
Teen boy #1: No way! We went to dinner at 6:15! There’s no such thing as a four hour dinner!
Teen boy #2: Okay, I’ll say that we went to dinner at 7:15, and that we stayed until 8:45 because it was a buffet…then we went and hung out at Times Square–
Teen boy #1: You should tell her that I did something bad, otherwise she’ll be suspicious.
–N train
Girl #1: I heard on a show that Times Square was getting seedy again.
Girl #2: Times Square should be seedy. Tourists come here and they want to see hookers and pimps and drug dealers hanging around. Not the Prudential Financial display.
–Times Square
Girl #1: I'm still looking for a phone to call from.
Girl #2: Why do you want to call from a 212 area code so bad?
Girl #1: I just don't want to call from an 847 number. I want to keep it professional.
–NYU
Girl #1: Are you going to call me on my birthday? Huh? Huh?
Girl #2: What is it, the 23rd?
Girl #1: No!
Girl #2: Oh, the 24th.
Girl #1: Yeah.. If my friends don’t blindfold me and get me wasted…
Girl #2: Oh… Yeah, I will call you. Listen, I’m sorry I’m not more chatty. I just got out of the hospital and the doctors put me on steroids, which have the unfortunate effect of turning me into a total cunt.
–Olive Garden, Times Square
Girl #1: So is he a pharmacist or a drug dealer?
Girl #2: What’s the difference?
–5 train
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
(tiny Asian girl in a striped skirt and high-heeled boots is hauling a suitcase up the stairs from the subway).
Hobo: You know who you look like?
Asian girl: Who?
Hobo: You know who you look like?
Asian girl: Who?
Hobo: Girl, you look like Paul Lynde.
–12th St & 7th Ave
Girl #1, reading menu: Cheese and onion pasties…
Girl #2: How can that be true?
–The Cake Shop
Overheard by: Ryan
Guy on cell: I guess you’d rather spend time with your cat than me. That’s cool.
–Brooklyn Heights
Thug to girl calling for cat: You lost your cat, baby? Shit, this is Brooklyn, there’s so many street cats out here they probably ate your cat.
–Franklin & Classon, Prospect Heights Brooklyn
Teen, talking about guitars: You can never have too many. They’re like cats.
–17th & 8th
Girl on cell: Yeah, I want one too, but we should start with a cat and see how that is. You know, play it by ear.
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Is that how it works?
Girl: If I looked like a cat’s poop hole I’d still want to be loved… and eaten.
–JFK
Chick on cell: As a pie-lover, I have a question.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Poogins
Father to toddler: No, you can't have a doughnut. You just had a doughnut yesterday. You can have another when you're…25!
–Doughnut Plant, Grand & Norfolk
Large older woman: I like cherry, lemon, peach, apple, and pumpkin. Other than that, I'm not a big pie person.
–Central Park Bench
Overheard by: Struedel Snatcher
Big black guy: And she kept trying to get me to take a pie, but I kept telling her, "bitch, I ain't got no room for no pie!"
–Penn Station
Young lady to friend, gravely: I understand, but things have changed. That was before the chocolate bonanza.
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: T. Ryan
