Teen girl #1: What if chocolate came out of dicks?
Teen girl #2: Well, then I’d pay him five dollars!
–Union Square
Headline by: MarioRPG
Runners-Up:
· “A Fine Example Of a Win-win Situation” – mike
· “I’m a Dick and Chocolate Comes Out Of Me About Twice a Day.” – Redneck Jedi
· “R. Kelly Trains ‘Em Young” – haz
· “We Could Stop Renting Those Party Fountains” – Golf Widow
· “Willy Wonka’s Splendifferous Splooge” – MiaMiaPantsonFia
Catholic girl #1: It’s a little more natural to have jizz in your mouth instead of pee.
Catholic girl #2: But the jizz has shit in it!
–Bryant Park
Tutor: So did you understand the story you read for homework?
Girl student: The first time I read it, I didn't understand it. But the second time, I was mad fucking high, and I got it.
–Oriental Boulevard, Brooklyn
Girl: I can’t, like, believe I’m in this, like, fucking crazy, weird AA subculture!
–25th and 3rd
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Suit to another: He was just lucky not to be fucking someone in his family!
–Trump Building
Overheard by: Guess I'm lucky too
Gamer on headset: Dude, you are not listening to me. You can't hear me. You know why? Because you have no ears. You're the product of two retarded cousins fucking each other.
–Queens
Girl: He looks like my uncle… the one I'm really attracted to.
–Governors Island ferry
Overheard by: boring
Male passerby: I wouldn't fuck my family, but…
–4th Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Jessica
British professor wearing bow tie: It's fascinating just how exciting incest is!
–Silver Center, NYU
Girl #1: So, seriously, his name is Meredith? Like “A Boy Named Sue?” Seriously?
Girl #2: Yeah, seriously, it's like that show… The one with, you know, the guy, and that's his name… You know, that show we watched last night.
Girl #1: Yeah, that show, with the hot guys?
Girl #2: Yeah, seriously hot.
Girl #1: Seriously.
–6 Train
Overheard by: I don't think they were serious
Girl #1: And how old is her boy now?
Girl #2: Uh… I dunno, one year old -maybe older?
Girl #1, in shock and disgust: And she still breast-feedin’ him?! That crazy ho!
Girl #2, definitively: Yeah, I ain’t lettin’ no lil’ man put teeth on my nipple!
–53rd & 6th Ave
Overheard by: SA
[In the next stall.]Chick #1: I can’t get it in it! It hurts!
Chick #2: Lift up your leg and try again!
Chick #1: Dude! It’s not gonna fit! It hurts too much!
Chick #2: Here, let’s try the third one.
–McDonald’s Restroom
Overheard by: Slowly walking out the door
Dad: Okay, girls! Now, we’re on a very tight budget — you can get ketchup, mustard, or barbecue sauce.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: bill R
Girl: Apparently I ate an entire jar of mustard.
–Bard High School Early College
Overheard by: and didn’t notice?
Hot guy on cell: That’s fine, but I just don’t want to find the television smeared with peanut butter this time…
–96th & CPW
White chick: La Choy is the white trash of soy sauce!
–113th St
Overheard by: Meister E.
Man to hobo: If I had any more butter, I would give it to you, but I don’t because I used it already.
–Howard St
Overheard by: havarthe
Foxy lady, to female dining companion: I could pour ketchup in your cleavage and dip a fry in it… Just dip it in! Why are people staring at us?
–Relish, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Justin Casement
Girl #1: And it's been a few years now, and I've been with a man.
Girl #2: I knew that would happen.
–84th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Nick
