Wednesday One-Liners Will Pass You a Note in Study Hall

Teen girl: The teacher was like, "Everybody did well on the oral part, that's a good thing, because I hadn't thought it was too long or hard." And then a kid in the back shouted, "That's what she said!"

–Times Square

Teen girl, after being hugged by two boys: Okay, which one of you fingered me?

–Outside Queens Center Mall

Overheard by: disgusted educator on bus

Teen on cell: Stuff? What the hell? Wait, stuff and things? What the fuck, man?!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual

Teenage boy: Every time you type "lol" a baby gets kicked in the head.

–150th & Columbus

Teen girl on cell: Why you always call me "ghetto?" I'm not ghetto. (long pause) Okay, I am! But I can't help it!

–Park Avenue

Overheard by: taylor

Teen punk girl on phone: Yeah, I kinda got to third in a dumpster… No! No, it was a clean dumpster!

–St Mark's & 2nd

Posted on October 8, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Boys, Cleanliness, Education, Girls, Grand Central, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Kick, On Cell, Punks, Queens, Questions, Sexuality, Teens, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Words

Big Hard Dick, Little Soft Conscience

Girl #1: I didn't know he had a girlfriend.
Girl #2: I did…but I was drunk so I blocked it out.
Girl #1: Horrible mistake.
Girl #2: Yeah, I regret it.
Girl #1: Good fuck, though. Big dick.
Girl #2: And that's all that matters.

–Brooklyn Heights

Posted on October 7, 2008
Brooklyn, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Penis, Relationships, Sexuality

Exactly.

40-something Spanish woman to 15-year-old son: What kind of a retard are you? You're just like your father!
(son looks around nervously)
Father, standing next to her: Wait, what?

–Canal & Centre

Overheard by: Einstien

Posted on October 7, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Dads, Default, Girls, Insults, Latinos, Moms, Questions, Soho, Weirdness

What's More Disturbing: A) Geographical Ignorance; or B) Use of “Colored Person”?

Girl #1: Here's a picture of the guy I hooked up with this weekend. God, I can't believe I hooked up with a Bulgarian…
Girl #2: Wait. That's him? I was expecting a colored person. Is Bulgaria not in Africa?

–Penn Station

Posted on October 7, 2008
Default, Girls, Global Geography, Hook Ups, Idiots, Penn Station, Pictures, Race, Stupidity, Words

If Only We Could Euthanize You

Loud girl: I'm not gonna move in with him until he gets rid of that damn dog! I'm not gonna let him pull a fast one on me. I'm not commuting two hours to work while that dog lies around the house all day. Hell no! He better get that damn dog euthanized.
Tired-looking, quiet older woman: Sounds like you got him all figured out.

–6 Train

Posted on October 6, 2008
Death, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Old People, On the Subway, Relationships, We Love Our Pets, Weirdness, Women

The Republicans' New Anti-Immigration Video Is a Little Over the Top

Hipster girl: What's that?
Salvadorian guy: My benefits card, like food stamps. You could get one!
Hipster girl: Really?
Salvadorian guy: You should! We could barbecue non-stop! For free!

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Overheard by: anyabelisle

Posted on October 6, 2008
Advice, Default, Food, Free stuff!, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Latinos, Questions, Starbucks, The Village

I Only Do That on Holidays

Little girl: Mommy, you can bite my ear.
Ghetto mama: Huh?
Little girl: You want to bite my ear?
Ghetto mama: No!
Little girl: Come on mommy, bite my ear!
Ghetto mama: Goddamn it child, no!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Barnard girl

Posted on October 6, 2008
Body Parts, Default, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Weirdness

Not One of Those Kenyan Italians

Brooklyn girl #1: He was more Italian than regular DJs?
Brooklyn girl #2: He was European Italian.

–Bay Ridge

Overheard by: not italian or a dj

Posted on October 4, 2008
Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Global Geography, Music, Questions, Stupidity

What Happens When Your Brain Snap Crackle Pops

Girl #1: This morning, when I peed, it smelled like Rice Krispie treats…
Girl #2: Ooh, yum! Let's make some!

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Posted on October 4, 2008
Default, Food, Girls, Pee, Sensory Experiences, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Whole Foods

I Heart NY. Now More Than Ever.

(girl flips off hecklers in a car)
Guy in car: Oh yeah, sweetie? Why don't you stick that up your ass?!
Girl: Maybe if I made it into a fist you'd want to stick it up yours.

–30th Ave, Astoria

Posted on October 3, 2008
Astoria, Backdoor, Default, Girls, Guys, Insults, Only in New York

Girls