Guy: I like Kevin Costner.
Girl: Me too, but I have a vagina, which makes it okay.
–54th & 9th
Overheard by: Trying to sleep
Guy: I like Kevin Costner.
Girl: Me too, but I have a vagina, which makes it okay.
–54th & 9th
Overheard by: Trying to sleep
Chick: Your window of opportunity with me is really small. This is New York, you know? Hot people are a dime a dozen.
Guy: Yeah, okay…
Chick: But I’m in no hurry, by any means.
Guy: That’s a good place to be. I’m not about seriousness at all. I take everybody as they are. I’m just trying to get laid.
Chick: Aw, it’s so hard to find someone hot and smart who also has a good heart.
Guy: Totally.
Chick: I’m a total hippie.
Guy: That’s a good thing.
Chick: So say we bang…
–Starbucks, Union Square
Chick #1 browsing Star magazine: African babies are totally the new black.
Chick #2: Um, I’m pretty sure African babies are the old black, too.
–6 train
Overheard by: ABSNOLA
Girl #1: So, was he at least hot?
Girl #2: No! He was Chinese!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Andrea
Bimbette: So, I’m thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend.
Friend: Why?
Bimbette: Because he cut his hair.
Friend: That’s just stupid.
Bimbette: No, you don’t understand how upset I was — he looked like he was in the Army.
Friend: So?
Bimbette: What if the terrorists think I’m with him? They’d bomb us both, and that’s just not happening.
–53rd & 6th
Overheard by: QuietOne
Girl #1: You mean, your parents never kept you in a cage as a child?
Girl #2: Uh… no.
–110th & Broadway
Chick #1: So, I overheard that weird girl in my anthropology class talking about how she bought a glass dildo the other day.
Chick #2: A glass one? I didn’t even know they made glass ones.
Chick #1: Yeah, I don’t know. But imagine if it cracked — how much that would hurt.
Chick #2: Did you ask her about it?
Chick #1: Fuck no. I figured I’d just Google it later.
–NYU
Prep chick: Is it amoebas that come from Mexico? Or am I thinking of armadillos?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Francesca
White teen girl: So, is there a Friday next week?
–4 train
Overheard by: Gregorio
Girlfriend: If your friends told you to jump down a bridge, would you do it?
–D train, Grand Concourse
Suit to black gangster holding large chameleon: Excuse me, sir. What species of dinosaur is that?
–Manhattan-bound F train
Overheard by: Josh
Teen: So how much would the game cost if it was $17.99?
–Game Stop, Forest Hills
Future zoologist: They have sea lions here! They’re like lions — from the sea!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Andrew K.
Girl #1: Hey, so I went to that sushi place you told me to go to last night, and I got food poisoning!
Girl #2: Oh. Hey, you went there? How was it?
Girl #1: I got food poisoning.
Girl #2: Yeah, but how was it before the vomiting set in?
–Ameritania Hotel
Teen boy: I couldn’t put it all the way in, though.
Teen girl: Ew, ew, ew.
Teen boy: I don’t know how they do that in pornos.
Teen girl: One second — are you gay?
Teen boy: Not really. Like, I’d totally do you.
Teen girl: You wish! Got Jake’s shit all over your dick. Ain’t no way.
–Smiling Pizza, 7th Ave, Park Slope
Headline by: Malingerer
Runners-Up:
· “Bi-curiousity killed the pussy” – Mojosaves
· “Have your jake and eat it too” – teensaredisgusting
· “He called ‘no homo'” – Jedipus
· “He probably couldn’t put it all the way in, because he’s not willing to come all the way out” – Ryan
· “Jake the German Shepherd was extra eager to meet his master that night.” – Adrenna
· “Methinks the lady doth protest too much” – assley
· “The Straw That Brokeback Mountain” – B
· “The shit washes off. The gay? Not so much.” – Sean
· “Then How ’bout a Dirty Sanchez?” – Hobo Whisperer
· “When the front door slams shut, sometimes the back door opens” – steve devan
· “You say tomato, I say hepatitis” – Mark Poepsel
