Teen girl #1: Whoa, are those apples really all in perfect rows?
Teen girl #2: Whole Foods has really out-yuppied itself this time.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Teen girl #1: Whoa, are those apples really all in perfect rows?
Teen girl #2: Whole Foods has really out-yuppied itself this time.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Customer: I don’t think onions are vegetables.
Employee: You don’t think onions are vegetables? Then what are they?
Customer: I think they should be listed separately, in the onion category.
–PAX, 57th St
Overheard by: Tech Support
Guy (surprised): But there was no mangina there!
Girl (equally surprised): Yeah! There was nobody wearing any strap-on parts at all! I was disappointed.
–Pete's Candy Store, Williamsburg
Ghetto lady on phone waiting for bus: Ugh. I'm exhausted. I don't have the energy to stick my hands up your ass.
–Hunts Point
Dude on cell: I think he's the same guy who stuck the jar up his ass. (pause) Well, because the camera angle was the same, and the scar…
–108th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk gay man speaking to straight couple: So I'm at the wedding talking to my future cousin-in-law about how it's not gay if he likes things in his ass, and he said that's not his problem, his problem is asking her to cut her fingernails.
–26th b/w 9th & 10th
Female suit on cell: There was something going into that butt, did I not mention that?
–10th & Hudson
Mom: You’re the mommy.
Little boy: I’m not the mommy.
Mom: You’re the mommy.
Little boy: I am not the mommy.
Mom: You’re the mommy.
Little boy, screaming: I am not the mommy!
–Little Italy grocery
Overheard by: should i be taking parenting notes?
Lady: Oh, Coca-Cola! I guess you don’t have gastrointeritis!
Girl: Uh, actually I was going to use it to cook.
Checkout guy: Yeah, you can cook with Coke. You don’t have to just drink it.
–Jefferson Market, 6th Avenue
Overheard by: Nicole J
Hasidic Jew: How much is this detergent?
Cashier: $2.99.
Hasidic Jew: Never mind. I’ll put it back.
–Rite-Aid, Bensonhurst
Teen #1: What's a scallion pancake? Do you put syrup on it?
Teen #2: I don't know.
Teen #1: I thought scallions were a seafood.
Teen #2: No. That's “scallops.”
–Chinese Takeout, Queens
Overheard by: illyria
Middle aged woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find English muffins?
Teen employee: All the muffins are in that aisle over there, but I don't know where they are from.
–Waldbaums Supermarket, Bayside
Guy #1: They don’t have my supplement here.
Guy #2: Try the health food store.
Guy #1: I would, but every time I go in there that woman tries to clean my aura.
–CVS, Bleecker Street
