Guy #1: They put lead in ice cream so it makes you retarded.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah, they put all sorts of chemicals in food; genocide, pesticide…
–A train
Guy #1: They put lead in ice cream so it makes you retarded.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah, they put all sorts of chemicals in food; genocide, pesticide…
–A train
Girl: What is this?
Guy: Orange juice!
Girl: (pause)
Guy: I mean anti-freeze!
–29th & Madison
Overheard by: AlphaBeta
Smart girl: Well, he needs to check with his partner to see if we can have dogs in the apartment.
Hot guy: So, do you think he's gay?
Smart girl: No! He's Spanish.
–Pelham Parkway & Cruger Ave, The Bronx
Overheard by: Dazed and Confused
Guy: Which one of you woke up late this morning, you or your momma?
Daughter: Oh, my mom.
Mom: No, I didn’t oversleep, I just got caught up doing schoolwork.
Guy: Shoot, do you think Jesus had excuses when he was dying on the cross?
–B67 bus
Old lady to weird guy: Get up! Get up! Can’t you see that that woman has two young children? [Weird guy reluctantly gets up.] You must be an orphan.
Weird guy: Fuck off. [He moves away and departs at the next stop.]Old lady: What? He was getting off at the next stop? He must be an orphan.
–A train
Overheard by: rachel
Guy to group of friends: God, it's ball soup out here today!
Friends: Totally!
Chick: Yeah, my balls are soup!
–Ouside Spa, SoHo
Girl, during auction for Haiti: I want to motorboat Susan Sarandon. Can I bid on that?
Guy: I don't see why not. It's pretty much like a handshake, except between your face and her tits.
–SPIN NY
Extreme sports guy #1: I broke my leg last summer.
Extreme sports guy #2: Dude, I broke my leg once. I broke both bones in both wrists this one time.
Extreme sports guy #1: What, were you snowboarding or something?
Extreme sports guy #2: No, I fell off the monkey bars. I was in the third grade.
–L Train
Hipster girl: Rough butt sex.
Hipster guy: But that's what it would've smelled like anyway.
–St. Mark's Place
