Old woman: You know I love them Jews.
Guy: How do you know I’m a Jew?
Old woman: You took the seat like a Jew.
Guy: How does a Jew take a seat?
–1 train
Overheard by: Max Ravyn
Old woman: You know I love them Jews.
Guy: How do you know I’m a Jew?
Old woman: You took the seat like a Jew.
Guy: How does a Jew take a seat?
–1 train
Overheard by: Max Ravyn
Old Jewess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writing another diet book. I have a friend who has read all her diet books and every year she gets fatter and fatter.
–Music Box theatre, West 45th Street
Fratboy: She was like an ugly Paris Hilton, but not rich.
–C train
Overheard by: nicolette
Guy: I’m gonna beat you like an Olsen twin.
–68th & Columbus
Overheard by: Andrew Zar
Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tupac was named after a Jewish holiday.
–Red Hook
Guy: Yeah, you know, that’s the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bottle of Scotch that they buy. You know, because their dad was a bootlegger and all.
–52 & Lexington
Fat guy #1: So I go in and he’s like, “This definitely isn’t a fun job or anything. It’s not an exciting job. This isn’t one of those jobs where you going to be happy about coming into the office in the morning. This job isn’t, you know, you’re not going to learn anything at this job. But you’ll make a lot of money.”
Fat guy #2: Cool.
Fat guy #1: Yeah, so I can sell my soul, y’know? I’m like, “I’ll sell crack to kids if I could make a lot of money.”
–E train
Girl: You staring at me?
Guy: Yeah, but only ’cause you look so fine.
Girl: True. But you can stop checking me out now. These aren’t public titties, they’re private titties. For select audiences only, and you’re not a member.
–A train
Guy #1: He was fucking me up and it wasn’t easy.
Guy #2: Yeah, I bet it was hard.
–51st & 8th
Overheard by: Weill
Hobo: Do you have any spare change?
Guy: Sorry, no.
Hobo: Well, come back when you do.
–Orchard & Houston
Overheard by: Princessbeena
Dude: Can I have a plain pizza?
Pizza guy: Is that for here or to stay?
Dude: Yeah.
–Anna Maria’s, Williamsburg
Overheard by: lee
Guy #1: Man, you gotta do more drugs.
Guy #2: Well I was trying last night.
–19th & 5th
Suit #1: I screwed one of the new piece of ass last night.
Suit #2: You mean the li’l one, the new one?
Suit #1: Yeah, Jen, the new girl on 15.
Suit #2: Dude, I just smashed her the other day at lunch! Are you fucking kidding me?
Suit #1: You’re clean, right?…’cause I’m going back for seconds.
–75th & Lexington
Guy: I want to go to FIT so I can hook up with girls.
–27th & 7th
Girl: I mean, I got shat on at Harvard.
–9th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Kamran Javadizadeh
Woman: Is there a special event going on at Columbia this summer? Because I’ve seen a lot of Asians around.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Carrie
Hipster girl: I mean, I’ve got like, over 160 facebook friends. Does that not mean anything?
–56th & 6th
Overheard by: Joyce Shen
Sociology professor: No one knows what the hell Derrida is talking about, but we all pretend we do anyway.
–Columbia
Overheard by: djlindee
