Teen girl: I wonder what Marilyn Monroe does in her spare time.
Teen guy: Lie in her coffin?
–2 train
Teen girl: I wonder what Marilyn Monroe does in her spare time.
Teen guy: Lie in her coffin?
–2 train
Sorority girl: No, really. My brother took acid, thought he could fly, and jumped out our second story window. This really happened.
–Columbia University Library
Overheard by: Michael Niederman
Hipster guy: I love fried chicken and cocaine.
–11th & B
Guy: Yeah, alcohol…It’s my anti-drug.
–45th & 9th
Overheard by: teo
Chick: …so she was sleeping with the animals.
Guy: She was sleeping with the animals?
Chick: ’cause she wasn’t really part of the circus.
–Washington Square SW
Lanky guy: I really don’t like these new jeans you got me. They’re way too tight in the waist and legs, but baggy in the butt, and at least two inches too short. Plus they’re boot cut, and I don’t wear any boots!
Girl: Those are my jeans.
Lanky guy: Oh. Well, that would explain the lack of room in the crotch, then.
–64th & Lexington
Overheard by: Adria
Man: Could you tell me where the self-help section is?
–Barnes and Noble, Union Square
Guy #1: We were talking about philosophy, and his ideas are just crazy.
Guy #2: Yeah, philosophy is not a good idea.
–Haru Sushi, Park Avenue
Overheard by: FunnyGirl
Hipster #1: I mean, dude, one bar, two ex-girlfriends? That is totally uncool.
Hipster #2: Totally.
–Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden, Astoria
Overheard by: Ian Wheeler-Nicholson
Two guys pass a poster for a Basquiat exhibit.
Guy #1: Is he dead?
Guy #2: Yes. He had AIDS.
Guy #1: How do they know what he looked like?
–Houston & Thompson
Guy #1: Hey, would you like a free cd?
Guy #2: Eh…
Guy #1: Do you like Led Zeppelin and Monty Python’s Flying Cir–
Guy #2: Oh hellll no.
–Williamsburg
Guy: I’m doing a house in the Hamptons, but I only know one person, this one girl. So I get an e-mail to meet everyone for drinks on Thursday, and I look at the names and it’s girl girl girl, girl girl, Santos, girl girl girl…and I’m like, “OK, am I the only guy in this house?”. And she said there’s a couple other guys coming out for 1 or 2 weekends. So I’m like, “OK, all girls, that’s cool. Are they cute?” and she says, “Yeah, they’re all cute.” So I said, “Well, I’m not matching the first couple weeks, they’ll think I’m gay!” She said, “Yeah don’t match, they’ll think you’re gay.” So I’m not matching. Plus they’re going to see “Santos” and think I’m freakin’…card-carrying…freakin’…off the boat, just swam the…freakin’ Florida canal…from Cuba or something.
–V train
Overheard by: kt
