Girl, passing by a store: Hey, is there anything you want?
Guy: To get ABBA out of my head!
–6th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Heck Yeah
Girl, passing by a store: Hey, is there anything you want?
Guy: To get ABBA out of my head!
–6th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Heck Yeah
Bro #1: Dude, I don't know, every day this week she's been upset. Crying about something, then apologizing…
Bro #2: Solid. You guys should make kids.
–4 Train
Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema…
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: chris
Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal!
–1st Ave & St. Mark's
Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lola Black
Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.
–W 4th St
20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria.
–Café
Guy to cabbie: Hi, can you take me to Queens?
Cabbie: Can't you see I have passengers?
Passenger, rolling down window: Hi, we're in here.
Guy: Thank you! You are an asshole!
–6th Ave & W 4th
Overheard by: James
Chick: So I e-mailed my building manager to complain about my jerk roommate, and she wrote back that the solution to all my problems is to chant. And she sent me the chant! Listen to this: “Nam yo ho ren ge cho.” And if I do this every day, I'll be happier, wiser, and in rhythm.
Dude: There are two possibilities here. Either she's enough of a flake to believe this, or she thinks you're enough of a flake to believe it.
Chick: None of this is good!
–151st & Broadway
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Dude #1: So, the other night I killed a mouse by rolling over on it in my sleep.
Dude #2: How did you know you killed it? Did you feel it or just wake up and find it there?
Dude #1: Yeah, when I woke up in the morning I looked over and was like, ‘Oh, a mouse,’ and then I took a picture.
–Ciao for Now, 12th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Coffee drinker who just lost her appetite
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, there is a smoke condition at Chambers Street. We will be delayed pulling into 42nd Street.
Teen boy: What the fuck is a smoke condition? My mom has a smoke condition. Subways don’t.
–1 train
Guy #1 about four tiny, yappy poodles: Why they so loud?!
Guy #2: Yo, they got a Napoleon complex. Why you think you a thug?
–Eastern Pkwy & Underhill St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Michael O’Brien
Dude in full garb on Halloween, clearly losing the argument to his friends: But it's not a foreign object to a pirate!
–East Village
Overheard by: chris k
Girl wearing duct tape cat ears on the fountain in Columbus Circle: I have been crowned the pirate queen!
–Columbus Circle
Guy in business casual to woman in business casual: Yeah, that's the thing about parrots. If they smell smoke and you open their cage, they are outta there. Screw that pirate.
–Uptown 3 Train
Young woman on cell: Those pirates are soooo thin.
–9th Ave & 47th St
Girl: So I’m saying… Would you murder my pussy?
Guy: Hell nah.
Girl: Why not?
Guy, laughing: I’ll end up in jail, ma.
Girl: What?
Guy: You can’t handle me, trust. My dick is deadly. It will kill you and your pussy.
–Brooklyn
