Little boy #1 in dark room, hyperventilating: We have to get out of here!
Little boy #2: Come on. We're men. Pull it together.
–Indoor Handball courts
Little boy #1 in dark room, hyperventilating: We have to get out of here!
Little boy #2: Come on. We're men. Pull it together.
–Indoor Handball courts
Woman #1: You totally should get knocked up by him. With the child support you'd get, you'd be set for life.
Woman #2: I know! Right?
–Gym, Columbia University
Overheard by: Alison R.
Woman to friend: Wait till I show you the pictures. He looked so good in the coffin…
–Gym, Westchester Ave
Thug to homies: Yo, we need to take a pic in case the world ends tomorrow.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Robert
Too-cool-for-school coworker: You don't know how to use your scanner?! Shhiiiit, fool! I can teach you that! I taught myself how to use Google Calendar today. I have a Master's in photography.
–NYU
Overheard by: mm
Man on cell: Hi! Oh my gosh, I just got some great pictures of a plane that crashed into the river!
–Hudson River Park
20-something girl on phone with friend: Will you grab my camera from the apartment for me before you come out tonight? (pause) Thanks, I need it to take pictures of my conquests.(pause) All men should fear us.
–Brooklyn
Guy #1, getting out of shower: Oh! Great news. I learned how to swallow!
Guy #2: That's fantastic!
–Locker Room, David Barton Gym
Overheard by: Baby steps
Waiter delivering German chocolate cake (deadpan): Sieg heil!
–Junior's, Shubert Alley
Overheard by: Anne Frank
80-something Jewish grandmother to shocked-looking teenage granddaughter: And your grandfather came here from Germany when the Nazis came to power. And I met him at a party and we got married and had your mother. So in other words, young lady, you owe your life to Adolf Hitler.
–The Jewish Museum
Female passer-by: She thought "Adolf Hitler" was a book by Mein Kampf!
–110 & Broadway
Overheard by: Matthew Krenz
Guy to coworker: You just missed some guy comparing our guest sign-in policy to Hitler's final solution.
–Coles Gym, NYU
Guy on cell: I'm not saying that others are Nazi supporters, I'm just saying Hillary Clinton does not support Nazis. Or their supporters.
–Virgin Megastore, Times Square
Overheard by: about to support one
Mother, to crying four-year-old trying to grasp her hand: If you don’t stop this behavior you are going to have to see a psychiatrist. [Child keeps at tantrum] This behavior is excessive and abnormal, and I don’t have the patience for it.
–Washington G Station
Stern bimbette: No. My fave dead therapist said that I need to make sure that I surround myself with people who are nice to waiters and their moms.
–Court Street & Joralemon, Brooklyn
NYU chick, calmly: So then I just had a teeny little breakdown!
–West 4th St
Woman on cell: So where are you? [pause] Is that "Therapy" the bar or therapy therapy?
–Manhattan Plaza Gym, 43rd St
Girl on cell: Don’t you think I’m a psycho? [pauses, laughs] Why not?
–Bedford and North 7th
20-something homo: Scientology is just like therapy except without the stigma of therapy.
–52nd & 9th
Overheard by: Trey Givens
Girl #1: Who is he, again?
Girl #2, screaming: John Norris! He’s old, gap in his teeth, MTV News guy… [Turns and sees he’s been standing right next to her.] Oh! Well, hello there!
–New York Sports Club
Overheard by: anonny
Guy #1: You can’t allow her to keep doing that to you, man.
Guy #2: Yeah, you’re right… Sometimes I wish I was gay.
Guy #1, after both guys laugh: …Uh… You were kidding, right?
–Men’s locker room, New York Sports Club, Tribeca
Overheard by: Matt
Woman #1: Are those pants see-through?
Woman #2: No! That means I would be bare-chested.
–YMCA, 9th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Chandra Smith-Thomas
Blonde: So, I told him for months that this was my weekend.
Brunette: Our weekend.
Blonde: Right, my weekend. So his parents are coming to help him move into his new apartment, and is it bad if I don’t help and I go to the Hamptons instead?
Brunette: No. Did he say anything to make you think that?
Blonde: No, I thought of it on my own.
Brunette: You look super tan.
Blonde: Thanks!
–Equinox gym
