NYU student: So, I think I’m just going to tell my girlfriend, ‘You know, I’ve been going to the gym a lot, working out, watching what I eat, and I think you should, too.’
Friend, as all receptionists stare: Yeah, no — you really can’t say that.
–Palladium Gym, NYU
Tiny gym bunny: I’ve had a really hard past couple of years…
Gym guy: Really?
Tiny gym bunny: Yeah, last year my mom got breast cancer…
Gym guy: Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.
Tiny gym bunny: Yeah, and to top it off, I got fat!
Gym guy: Pardon?
–Crunch Gym, 13th & Broadway
Gym Guy #1: Just weighed myself.
Gym Guy #2: Oh, yeah?
Gym Guy #1: 172 pounds after a shit.
–Wall Street NYSC
Overheard by: Bailey Wier
Daughter: I'm huuuungry.
Mother: Okay, but no cup…
Daughter, interrupting: Cuuuuupcaaaaakes!
–85th St, Gym
Overheard by: Amused Front Desk
Big black dude #1: You want to leave all the white women to me? That’s fine.
Big black dude #2: Oh, [laughs], I don’t have a problem getting white women. I’m half Indian and half Puerto Rican. I got that Boricua thing going.
Big black dude #1: Oh, shit. Well, I got Mexican in my family…
Smaller black dude: You part Mexican? Where were you born?
Big black dude #1: Well, I was born in Haiti, but I grew up in the Bronx, and my uncle recently married a Mexican.
–Changing room, Church St Boxing gym, Church & Park
Asian undergrad #1: You know that “boyfriend” jacket you tried on looked really good on you.
Asian undergrad #2: Yeah… That's because I have no tits.
Asian undergrad #1: Yeah, you're right.
–NYU Palladium Gym
Overheard by: Nel
Bimbo #1: What is The Vagina Monologues about?
Bimbo #2: I think its about like… The history of like…
Older man, stretching: Penises.
–New York Sports Club, 86th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: stillinshock
Little boy #1 in dark room, hyperventilating: We have to get out of here!
Little boy #2: Come on. We're men. Pull it together.
–Indoor Handball courts
Woman #1: You totally should get knocked up by him. With the child support you'd get, you'd be set for life.
Woman #2: I know! Right?
–Gym, Columbia University
Overheard by: Alison R.
Woman to friend: Wait till I show you the pictures. He looked so good in the coffin…
–Gym, Westchester Ave
Thug to homies: Yo, we need to take a pic in case the world ends tomorrow.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Robert
Too-cool-for-school coworker: You don't know how to use your scanner?! Shhiiiit, fool! I can teach you that! I taught myself how to use Google Calendar today. I have a Master's in photography.
–NYU
Overheard by: mm
Man on cell: Hi! Oh my gosh, I just got some great pictures of a plane that crashed into the river!
–Hudson River Park
20-something girl on phone with friend: Will you grab my camera from the apartment for me before you come out tonight? (pause) Thanks, I need it to take pictures of my conquests.(pause) All men should fear us.
–Brooklyn
