Gyms

50-something guy #1: I mean, I like being with her, I just feel we have nothing to talk about.
50-something guy #2: You have to admit it wasn't really the conversation you got into the relationship for.
50-something guy #1: I know. But I still wish we connected more.
50-something guy #2, exasperated, suddenly much louder: Well, then you shouldn't have left your wife for a 19-year old!

–Asphalt Green Gym

Overheard by: Richard

Girl #1: I think I hurt myself. Look at this. What is this?
Girl #2: That’s a muscle.
Girl #1: Right there?
Girl #2: It’s a calf. It’s supposed to have a muscle.

–NYSC, 59th & Park

Overheard by: Katie C

Queer #1: So where’s Jeff been?
Queer #2: Oh, he isn’t going here anymore. He said he can’t deal with the gay drama and being cruised all the time. He wants to work out around people who are more serious about working out and getting bigger. You know, people who are just more focused on bodybuilding and not chatting and gossiping. So he switched to Equinox.
Queer #1: What is he talking about? There’s no drama here; it’s not even that gay. It’s not 8th avenue!
Queer #2: I think he’s just really commited to his bodybuilding and wants to completely focus on it with no distractions.
Queer #1: I think he needs to lay off the creatine.

–14th Street NYSC

NYU student: So, I think I’m just going to tell my girlfriend, ‘You know, I’ve been going to the gym a lot, working out, watching what I eat, and I think you should, too.’
Friend, as all receptionists stare: Yeah, no — you really can’t say that.

–Palladium Gym, NYU

Tiny gym bunny: I’ve had a really hard past couple of years…
Gym guy: Really?
Tiny gym bunny: Yeah, last year my mom got breast cancer…
Gym guy: Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.
Tiny gym bunny: Yeah, and to top it off, I got fat!
Gym guy: Pardon?

–Crunch Gym, 13th & Broadway

Gym Guy #1: Just weighed myself.
Gym Guy #2: Oh, yeah?
Gym Guy #1: 172 pounds after a shit.

–Wall Street NYSC

Overheard by: Bailey Wier

Daughter: I'm huuuungry.
Mother: Okay, but no cup…
Daughter, interrupting: Cuuuuupcaaaaakes!

–85th St, Gym

Overheard by: Amused Front Desk

Big black dude #1: You want to leave all the white women to me? That’s fine.
Big black dude #2: Oh, [laughs], I don’t have a problem getting white women. I’m half Indian and half Puerto Rican. I got that Boricua thing going.
Big black dude #1: Oh, shit. Well, I got Mexican in my family…
Smaller black dude: You part Mexican? Where were you born?
Big black dude #1: Well, I was born in Haiti, but I grew up in the Bronx, and my uncle recently married a Mexican.

–Changing room, Church St Boxing gym, Church & Park

Asian undergrad #1: You know that “boyfriend” jacket you tried on looked really good on you.
Asian undergrad #2: Yeah… That's because I have no tits.
Asian undergrad #1: Yeah, you're right.

–NYU Palladium Gym

Overheard by: Nel

Bimbo #1: What is The Vagina Monologues about?
Bimbo #2: I think its about like… The history of like…
Older man, stretching: Penises.

–New York Sports Club, 86th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: stillinshock