Wednesday One-Liners Really Need to Montauk

Asian fag to white hag: So if a natural disaster happened and Long Island had to be evacuated, we'd, like, all be screwed!

–2 Train

Overheard by: Kosi

Woman on cell: You all should come to Long Island. They're fucking civilized over there.

–Battery Park

Overheard by: Smitten Kitten

Hipster on cell, suddenly yelling: Mom, I live in New York City, not Long Island! New York City! Get a map. I live in New York City.

–Greenpoint

20-something blonde on cell: Uh… Long Island… that's on the East Side, right?

–John St & Cliff St

Overheard by: BennyP

Jersey girl to Long Island guys: Oh my god! I've never been to Long Island! I'll need rockstar directions! Oh, and I totally have camel toe!

–51st & 6th

Overheard by: Fanx 4 that

Posted on August 12, 2009
Accidents, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, B & T, Battery Park, Brooklyn, Death, Fag Hags, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Vagina, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, White People, Women

Incomprehensible Wednesday One-Liners from Japan

Girl wearing yoga outfit to friend: And I'm like "you know that your face looks like a fucking cartoon character, don't you?"

–Houston & Mott

Overheard by: JohnJayinNYC

Teen boy: I don't like people. I just like Pokemon.

–Chipotle, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: Mike N

Blipster: Girl, you know I already got a headache and then she all up in my face with that Dragon Ball Z breath.

–Fulton & Pearl

Girl, during promo network commercial before Up: It is not Cartoon Network if there are real people. I refuse to watch this show.

–Movie Theatre, Battery Park

Overheard by: Yelena

Excited man on cell: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? What are they? People love ancient Egypt way more than ninja turtles.

–Hungarian Pastry Shop

Overheard by: Casey Black

Scruffy hipster to friend: Now all we need to do is find Splinter and Donatello.

–L Train

Overheard by: lilli

Posted on August 12, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Battery Park, Black People, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Chinatown, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Grocery Stores, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, History & Geography, Insults, Men, Movie Theaters, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Street, Stupidity, Teens, TV, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

The Bread Crumbs Have Thus Far Proven Ineffective

Gay hipster boy: Oh, look at that poor “lost cat” sign. That fur balls never coming back… I can't even figure out my way back home in Brooklyn.
Fag hag: True, that.

–5th Ave & 9th St

Posted on August 11, 2009
Balls, Fag Hags, Gay Man's Best Friend, Hipsters, Home, Sweet Home, Queer guys, The Village, Weirdness

You Know Things Are Bad When You Have to Be Reminded You're a Pedophile

Hipster guy: So, are you doing anything tomorrow night?
Girl: I don't think so.
Hipster guy: Cool. I'll get you the address for the place my band is playing at. We can hang afterwards.
Girl: Awesome!
Girl's mom, to hipster: Don't bother. She's 17. And you're a pedophile.
Hipster guy: Oh. Right. Sorry. (leaves)
Girl: Goddamn it, mom! You're such a fucking cockblock!

–Jules Jazz Bar

Overheard by: Millie

Posted on August 10, 2009
Age/Aging, Apologies, Bars & Clubs, Dating, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Moms, Music, Parents, Questions, Robbing the Cradle

It's the Cherry

Teenage hipster #1: Wait, I thought those were alcoholic.
Teenage hipster #2: No, they're not at all! I'm so up for Shirley Temples right now!

–6th & Waverly

Overheard by: LizzieD

Posted on August 6, 2009
About Celebrities, Drinking & Drunk People, Hipsters, Teens, The Village

Is This Funny, Sad, or Both? Discuss.

Spoiled hipster girl: Yeah, like that time your mom borrowed my top to go clubbing.
Spoiled hipster boy: Well, I hope she got action in it!
Spoiled hipster girl: She did, I think she hooked up with some married man. That's why I have the money for the new top I'm getting!

–Urban Outfitters, West Village

Posted on July 31, 2009
Clothing, Hipsters, Hook Ups, Infidelity, Money & Class, Parents, Store, Weirdness, West Village

What's Your Feeling on HIV, Then?

Hipster girl: I didn't know you smoked.
Hipster guy: Yeah. I know it's bad for me, but I really don't want to be old.

–Broadway & Broome

Posted on July 23, 2009
Age/Aging, Death, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Little Italy, Smoking, Wishes & desires

The Wayans Brothers Are the Most Important Social Commentators Of Our Time

Older hipster film snob: I am trying to watch all those movies they made about the Iraq War in the last few years. I just finished rendition and I thought Stop Loss was this really poignant picture of the way soldiers have dealt with the renewed tours.
Friend: Oh, yeah? You know what movie looks really good? I think it is still in theaters. Dance Flick.

–Metropolitan Museum of Art

Posted on July 11, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Film, Friends, Hipsters, Questions, The Met, War

Things Got Awkward When They Brought Up Aaron

Drunk hipster: God, I just loved Charlie, why did they have to kill him?
Drunk 30-something: No, I'd do Locke, even with his crazy eye.
Drunk hipster: Oh, Sawyer's a babe.
Drunk 30-something: No shit! I'd drink beer out of his shoe.

–Sin Sin Bar, East Village

Overheard by: not as drunk

Headline by: erak

Runners-Up:
· “…And Freebase the Smoke Monster” – DCGeek
· “I’d Drink Beer Out Of a Lot Of Things, Though” – Paul. R
· “This Could Totally Be Me and My Friends” – james
· “Yeah, Well I’d Lick Jam Off Sayed’s Back Bro….” – Ria

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on July 9, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Headline Contest Winners, Hipsters, Murder, Questions, Shoes, TV, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Kentucky Fried Wednesday One-Liners

Man to little boy: I can't believe you've never played tic-tac-toe with a chicken in Chinatown.

–52nd & Lexington

Overheard by: Ed

Hipster guy: I don't know though, I can't Indian give those chickens, can I?

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: BKLover

Older black man to himself, entering train with moving box: I got a live chicken in this box! I don't know why god gave me a chicken. He knows I don't know what to do with one. (a few minutes later) I'm gonna sell her to the butcher shop and they're going to cut that motherfucker up!

–Uptown A Train

Overheard by: Mawy

Serious man, seeing dog carrying shopping bad in teeth: I am going to train a dog like that. I will train it to bring me chicken.

–73rd St & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Large black dude to large black friend: Yo, man, I am so tired of chicken! I mean, yeah, I know, I'm black…but man, I ain't eating no chicken at that party man. Don't even bring no chicken by me, cause I ain't eating none. Matter of fact, I ain't eating no chicken for Black History Month. I'ma start the movement! No chicken for Black History Month!

–Downtown 2 Train

Overheard by: Kosi

Posted on July 8, 2009
Birds, Black People, Brooklyn, Celebrations/Parties, Food, Friends, God, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Kids, Man's Best Friend, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Race, Street, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Hipsters