Hip girl: They're playing a lot of songs about anal sex.
Hip guy: Wait, what?
Hip girl: You know, “move to the back of the bus” is anal sex.
Hip guy: This song is about Rosa Parks.
Hip girl: Seriously?
Hip guy: It's called “Rosa Parks.”
Hip girl: Well, Rosa Parks must have liked it in the ass. That's probably why she had to sit.
–Greenpoint
Asian fag to white hag: So if a natural disaster happened and Long Island had to be evacuated, we'd, like, all be screwed!
–2 Train
Overheard by: Kosi
Woman on cell: You all should come to Long Island. They're fucking civilized over there.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Smitten Kitten
Hipster on cell, suddenly yelling: Mom, I live in New York City, not Long Island! New York City! Get a map. I live in New York City.
–Greenpoint
20-something blonde on cell: Uh… Long Island… that's on the East Side, right?
–John St & Cliff St
Overheard by: BennyP
Jersey girl to Long Island guys: Oh my god! I've never been to Long Island! I'll need rockstar directions! Oh, and I totally have camel toe!
–51st & 6th
Overheard by: Fanx 4 that
Girl wearing yoga outfit to friend: And I'm like "you know that your face looks like a fucking cartoon character, don't you?"
–Houston & Mott
Overheard by: JohnJayinNYC
Teen boy: I don't like people. I just like Pokemon.
–Chipotle, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mike N
Blipster: Girl, you know I already got a headache and then she all up in my face with that Dragon Ball Z breath.
–Fulton & Pearl
Girl, during promo network commercial before Up: It is not Cartoon Network if there are real people. I refuse to watch this show.
–Movie Theatre, Battery Park
Overheard by: Yelena
Excited man on cell: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? What are they? People love ancient Egypt way more than ninja turtles.
–Hungarian Pastry Shop
Overheard by: Casey Black
Scruffy hipster to friend: Now all we need to do is find Splinter and Donatello.
–L Train
Overheard by: lilli
Gay hipster boy: Oh, look at that poor “lost cat” sign. That fur balls never coming back… I can't even figure out my way back home in Brooklyn.
Fag hag: True, that.
–5th Ave & 9th St
Hipster guy: So, are you doing anything tomorrow night?
Girl: I don't think so.
Hipster guy: Cool. I'll get you the address for the place my band is playing at. We can hang afterwards.
Girl: Awesome!
Girl's mom, to hipster: Don't bother. She's 17. And you're a pedophile.
Hipster guy: Oh. Right. Sorry. (leaves)
Girl: Goddamn it, mom! You're such a fucking cockblock!
–Jules Jazz Bar
Overheard by: Millie
Teenage hipster #1: Wait, I thought those were alcoholic.
Teenage hipster #2: No, they're not at all! I'm so up for Shirley Temples right now!
–6th & Waverly
Overheard by: LizzieD
Spoiled hipster girl: Yeah, like that time your mom borrowed my top to go clubbing.
Spoiled hipster boy: Well, I hope she got action in it!
Spoiled hipster girl: She did, I think she hooked up with some married man. That's why I have the money for the new top I'm getting!
–Urban Outfitters, West Village
Hipster girl: I didn't know you smoked.
Hipster guy: Yeah. I know it's bad for me, but I really don't want to be old.
–Broadway & Broome
Older hipster film snob: I am trying to watch all those movies they made about the Iraq War in the last few years. I just finished rendition and I thought Stop Loss was this really poignant picture of the way soldiers have dealt with the renewed tours.
Friend: Oh, yeah? You know what movie looks really good? I think it is still in theaters. Dance Flick.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Drunk hipster: God, I just loved Charlie, why did they have to kill him?
Drunk 30-something: No, I'd do Locke, even with his crazy eye.
Drunk hipster: Oh, Sawyer's a babe.
Drunk 30-something: No shit! I'd drink beer out of his shoe.
–Sin Sin Bar, East Village
Overheard by: not as drunk
Headline by: erak
Runners-Up:
· “…And Freebase the Smoke Monster” – DCGeek
· “I’d Drink Beer Out Of a Lot Of Things, Though” – Paul. R
· “This Could Totally Be Me and My Friends” – james
· “Yeah, Well I’d Lick Jam Off Sayed’s Back Bro….” – Ria
