Woman: So what do you want to do?
Man: Well, we could go to my house, your house, or we could just get it over with and visit Becker at the big house.
–Prince & Mercer
Woman: So what do you want to do?
Man: Well, we could go to my house, your house, or we could just get it over with and visit Becker at the big house.
–Prince & Mercer
Gay suit #1: So did you hear that he got a new apartment?
Gay suit #2: No!
Gay suit #1: I'd say it's the house that porn built.
–Chelsea
Girl on cell: Sorry I texted you when you were giving birth.
–27th St & Park Ave
20-something girl: I kept saying, "I emailed a text to him!"
–Pub, 59th & 3rd
Overheard by: Bluetoothed them a postcard
20-something girl correcting her friend's text message: No, you don't need an apostrophe there. It's "hos," plural, not "of or pertaining to a ho."
–M15 Bus
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy with suitcase on cell: I sent him a text asking if I could stay at his place, and he said sure. I find out today he was being sarcastic.
–116th & Broadway
Student: Okay, it's 3:20. I think it's an appropriate time to text Ben and tell him I had a sex dream about him.
–Sarah Lawrence College
Overheard by: Anna
Music manager on phone: You know what you need? Lesbians! Everyone needs a lesbian.
–20th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: LoRna
Lady on cell: And now she thinks I’m a lesbian because I borrowed her…
–Union Square Greenmarket
Overheard by: borrowed her what?
Guy on cell: Did you bring chairs and a cooler? Cause usually lesbians are so prepared, they always bring chairs and a cooler.
–Ludlow near Rivington
English woman (trying on a pair of vintage men inspired shoes) to man: I always thought there was something very chic about a woman wearing a man’s shoe. (looks at her footwear) But I have to be skinny for this look, otherwise I’ll look like a lesbian!
–Frock Vintage Store
Overheard by: Shoegal
Guy to friend: She isn’t a lesbian but she does own a house.
–13th & 1st
Drunk: Come on! Just come upstairs with me!
Mistress: No way! Not this time; go home to your wife.
Drunk: But my wife’s not home!
–Battery Park City
Black Man (to African Man): Where are you from? Why don’t you go back there, man?
–Penn Station
Drunk 20-something #1: Oh, I blame it completely on them.
Drunk 20-something #2: Why is that?
Drunk 20-something #1: Because they started it. They took out the tequila. I wound up playing quarters with my aunts and my grandmother. It's all their fault I was such a slut.
–Uptown R Train
Overheard by: Feeling awkward…
Woman #1: Who am I kidding? I'm moving into a house I don't like in a town where I don't want to live.
Woman #2: But you're excited about it?
Woman #1: Hello? I've been living with my mother-in-law for five months.
–Home Depot
Gay guy to girlfriend: I refuse to pay for movers. I need you to help me with my furniture.
Girlfriend: Are you serious? Why don't you just get movers?
Gay guy: Do you know expensive they are? Why would I pay someone to move my stuff when we can just do it ourselves?
Girlfriend: Honestly, you're the cheapest person I know.
Gay guy: I'm the cheapest person you know? Hello, you've met my mother!
–Park Ave & 25th St
Overheard by: Investment Banker
Girl to friend: He's Indian! How can he be homeless?
–Union Square
Crazy Asian lady: I think everyone should experience jail and being homeless at least twice in life, so I need to go to jail again.
–Pinkberry, 32nd St
Suit, screaming: Why the fuck did I go to school? Look at these homeless people. They have a perfect life. Free samples at every corner. Apple Store is open 24/7, which means good shelter. Gahh!
–Union Square
Overheard by: hespeakstruth
Flamboyantly elegant gay guy to female friend: Would you rather lick this entire subway platform or have a homeless woman eat your pussy?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Katie
