Wednesday One-Liners See London and France

30-something guy to another: She works for Sesame Street so she gets a lot of free underwear.

–Brooklyn Label, Greenpoint

Girl: Yeah, dude. She wasn't wearing any underwear so everyone was trying to pull down her skirt!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Mollie

Tourist mom in matching pink jumpsuit, struggling with too many children: Oh my Jesus, I wore the wrong thong today!

–42nd St

Overheard by: Emily

Puzzled hipster on cell: Wait…how did wearing a thong fuck up her eye?

–7th St & Ave A

Hipster girl on cell: Did you get your underwear? Lindsey! Goddamn it! "Eat" sounds nothing like "get!" Fuck! What? Fuck you, bitch! Taste of my own medicine, bullshit! I heard nothing about gnawing on my own underwear!

–Baskin-Robbins, Mulberry

Overheard by: Hana

Very blond mother pushing baby carriage, on cell: I don't care, we've talked about this! Don't fucking touch my underwear!

–20th St & 7th Ave

Posted on October 1, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Insults, Lower Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Nudity, Offers and requests, Questions, TV, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Poor Guy's More of a Houndstooth Czech

Gay guy #1, checking out another guy: That's a cute outfit.
Gay guy #2: Not with that face.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Oobs

Posted on September 30, 2008
Beauty, Body Parts, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Insults, On the Subway, Queer guys

Get Beat Up a Lot, Pencil Neck?

Tourist: Hi, what do we need to do to join the tour?
Tour guide: Well, there's an entrance exam.
Tourist: Really?
Tour guide: No. But based on this conversation, you would've failed.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Chuckles

Posted on September 27, 2008
Assholes, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Coworkers, Default, Insults, Offers and requests, Questions, Tourists, Weirdness

At Least I Don't Have Pepperoni Stuck in My Beard

Girlfriend: Imagine the whole world was covered in pizza boxes. (pauses in deep though) That would be a lot of pizza boxes!
Boyfriend: You dumb.

–Colombia University Campus

Posted on September 27, 2008
Boyfriends, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Default, Girlfriends, Insults, Pizza, Stupidity

Well, You Once Told Me I Was the Best Part of Waking Up

Guy: I told my sister when I die, I want her to cremate me and put the ashes in coffee cans, so people will think they're coffee grounds and I'll be in their coffee.
Girl: You are so stupid.

–4th St & Ave A

Overheard by: Better than <a href=

Posted on September 26, 2008
Coffee, Death, Default, Girls, Guys, Insults, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

We're on the Verge of a Liberal Education Here

Student #1: What does “NB” stand for, at the end?
Student #2: Tuberculosis.
Student #1: That's “TB”, idiot.

–Newman Vertical Campus, Baruch College

Overheard by: I thought that stood for TELLYtuBBies!

Posted on September 22, 2008
College, Compare/Contrast, Default, Illness, Insults, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Students, Words

Suddenly Sober, Alice Put Out the Cigarette

Drunk chick: I don't care if you let me I'm smoking this fucking cigarette. (lights it)
Driver: Brunettes are slutty.
Drunk chick: What?
Driver: It's okay, I like slutty chicks.

–Taxi Cab, Williamsburg

Overheard by: where's waldo?

Posted on September 20, 2008
Brooklyn, Cabbies, Compliments, Default, Drunks, Girls, Insults, Smokers & Smoking, Smoking, Weirdness

I Totally Saw Her Cut in Line at Starbucks Earlier

Old man walking dog (bumping into ghetto girl #1): Watch where you're going, bitch!
Ghetto girl #1 (turning and running after old man, wielding thick Harry Potter book as a weapon): That man just called me a bitch!
Ghetto girl #2 (running after friend): He was talking to the dog! Put the book down! His dog is a bitch!

–25th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: She-Who-Never-Uses-HP-As-A-Weapon

Posted on September 20, 2008
Default, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Insults, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Old People, Violence, We Love Our Pets

Aw Sweetie, Someday You'll Meet a Man Who'll Love You for Your Rib Cage

Chubby 20-something girl in skintight tracksuit: It is so effing cold out here! I'm freezing my tits off!
Rail thin friend: Really? I'm not.
Chubby girl: That's because you don't have any tits, idiot!
Rail thin friend, quietly: Oh…yeah…

–Central Park

Overheard by: I was freezing my tits off too

Posted on September 20, 2008
Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Default, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Insults, Nipples, Sensory Experiences, Weather

Incidentally, Your Palm Has Never Felt Softer

Large man: You fucked him!
Large woman: I didn't fuck no one…I let him cum in my hand.
Large man: Bitch!

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: bo jokes

Posted on September 19, 2008
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Cum, Default, Insults, Men, Women

Insults