Wednesday One-Liners– What the Fudge?

Professor, to deaf student's interpreter: Do you deal with "fuck" and "shit" and all that?

–Pratt Institute

Mother to bickering daughters: Let me tell you something: you two bags are the only motherfuckers I got left!

–21st St & 35th Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: Daniel Boris Dzula

Young woman in burqa on cell: And Jesus Christ! What the fuck was that bitch thinking?

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: ABrooklynBaby'sNanny

Girl on cell: And he said, "I am trying to learn here!" and I said, "fuck you!"

–112 & Broadway

Overheard by: Nathan

Hobo: I was in Nantucket when I lost my bucket! Then I said, "fuck it!"

–Union Square

Overheard by: Stacy

Woman crying to friend: I don't want to do the fucking SAG Awards!

–Bryant Park

Posted on October 22, 2008
Astoria, Brooklyn, Bryant Park, College, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Insults, Jesus, Moms, On Cell, Parks, Questions, Show business, Sisters, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Women

She Thinks Dictionaries Are for Sucking

Dyed blonde: What's a “hatch”? As in “down the hatch”?
Blonde: Oh, that's like when baby birds break out of their eggs!
Brunette: Don't ask the blonde!

–3rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: It's part of a ship, actually

Posted on October 20, 2008
Advice, Default, Girls, Insults, Questions, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Words

How Men Talk About Their Feelings

Bro #1: Dude, I fucked her two nights ago and she keeps calling me. Fuck that bitch, I can get so much better pussy.
Bro #2: I love motion sensor dispensers…it makes me feel like I have The Force.

–Bar Bathroom, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Manc

Posted on October 19, 2008
Always Bringing it Back to You!, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Insults, Movies, Sex, Stall Spies

For Your Information, I Can Microwave Instant Pasta with the Best of 'Em!

Italian American: You're from Italy? I'm Italian too.
Italian tourist: You're not Italian.
Italian American: What? You don't think my family's from Italy? Go fuck yourself.

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Not Italian

Posted on October 19, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Foreigners, Global Geography, Insults, Italians, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Questions, Tourists, Union Square and East Village

Buying Her That “Cumdumpster” T-Shirt Backfired Bigtime

Ghetto girl #1: I'm gonna kick her ass. She's such a waste.
Ghetto girl #2: She is a waste. She's a waste of sperm.

–Times Square Shuttle

Posted on October 18, 2008
Cum, Default, Ghetto Chicks, Insults, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Times Square, Violence

Prepare for Exsanguination and Death

Punk girl on phone: If they fucked up my computer I will kill them and drink their blood.
Computer tech (overhearing her and taking two steps back): Uhm… Your hard drive just crashed.
Punk girl: Fuck you.

–Apple Store, 5th Ave

Posted on October 17, 2008
Blood & bleeding, Computer, Default, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Girls, Insults, Murder, On Cell, Punks, Store, Threats, Upper East Side

Realtor: Can't Talk. Working.

Drunk woman on cell: Come out with us! Don't go to bed. You're a realtor. Realtors don't sleep.
Drunk man, stealing cell phone: Hey–get over here. You're a realtor. You don't sleep, you don't eat. You're a realtor.

–Bleecker & Macdougal

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on October 16, 2008
Default, Drunks, Insults, Men, Offers and requests, On Cell, The Village, Women, Words

And Stop Bringing Refugees Home With You–They Don't Get Along With the Cats

Louis Vuitton-carrying mother: Now I'm going to a halal meat market in Brooklyn next week!
Louis Vuitton-carrying daughter: I want to go to a halal market! Ever since I wrote my thesis I just love refugees!
Mother: Halal markets are for Muslims, not refugees!
Daughter: Well, close enough.

–75th & Lexington

Posted on October 14, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Ethnic Food, Girls, Insults, Islam, Moms, Upper East Side

Why Construction in New York Takes So Long: Explained

Construction worker #1: I got sweaty balls.
Construction worker #2: Shit, man.
Construction worker #3 (putting hand down his pants): Do you wanna suck my sweaty balls?

–38th Street b/w 5th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Chantal

Posted on October 13, 2008
Balls, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Construction Guys, Coworkers, Default, Insults, Offers and requests, Sweat

Thanks, but I Avoid Intimacy With Gay-Bashers

Screaming man to mumbling teen: Yo, that some faggot ass shit! That's why I say, you want to suck some fuckin' dick?

–209th St & Perry Ave

Overheard by: rachel

Posted on October 12, 2008
BJs, Creepsters, Default, Insults, Men, Offers and requests, The Bronx, Weirdness

Insults