Wednesday One-Liners for Black History Month

Russian woman to Russian friend: I want to see Notorious because it's about black people.

–Regal Cinema, 13th & Broadway

High school boy: Hey, look–a black kid!

–B1 Bus

Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman

Black guy: Don't worry, its alright! I'm not that black! I haven't mugged anybody in two weeks, and I love all white people under six feet tall!

–Time Square

Overheard by: Jennie

Middle-aged black woman, to no one in particular: That George W. Bush! He walks like an arrogant black man!

–Queens

Overheard by: BigFatTiger

Nerdy Jewish guy: I don't know what went wrong. I should be a black girl by now!

–Queens College

Posted on June 8, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Film, Foreigners, Frat Boys, Friends, Gender issues, Guys, Height, Jews, Movie Theaters, Nerds, On the Bus, One-liners, President, Queens, Queens College, Race, Sexuality, Street, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Women

It’s a Train, Not a Glass Elevator

Yarmulke man: Excuse me, where does this train go to?
Do-rag guy: Florida.
Yarmulke man: Florida? Texas? California?
Do-rag guy: Yep.
Yarmulke man: Okay! Good.

–6 train

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on May 26, 2015
Assholes, Directions, Jews, On the Subway, U.S. Geography, Weirdness

A German Barbeque, to Be Precise

Suit #1: Smells like barbeque.
Suit #2: It’s just us Jews.

–Union Square

Posted on May 25, 2015
Guys, History & Geography, Jews, Judaism, Religion, Street, Suits, Union Square and East Village, War

You Know, the Wrong White

Little girl: My birthday is next week.
Woman: Oh? What sign are you?
Little girl: I’m Italian and Jewish.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Chris D.

Posted on May 24, 2015
Age/Aging, Jews, Kids, Park Slope, Race

In as Much as a White Castle Burger can be ‘Real’

Jewish girl: Did you get bacon on your burger?
Jewish guy: No. I’m keepin’ it real.

–White Castle, Hillside Avenue, Queens

Overheard by: Big Larry

Posted on May 24, 2015
Jews, Junk Food & Fast Food, Queens

What If I Get a Long Identifying Number on My Forearm?

Guy: So you don’t think neck tattoos are sexy?
Girl: No.
Guy: What do they make you think of?
Girl: Prison.
Guy: What if I get my name in Hebrew?
Girl: Jewish prison.

–10th & Ave B

Overheard by: Trying not to laugh

Posted on May 13, 2015
Body Parts, Jews, Judaism, Languages, Manhattan, Names, People, Places, Prison, Religion, Tattoos, Union Square and East Village

Yeah, But We Got to Kill the Bastard

Woman: I know why you’re doing this [handing out flyers.] Jew for Jesus: Oh, why?
Woman: Because you’re jealous that we have Christmas and you all want to be able to put up a tree and lights and decorate!

–Bensonhurst

Overheard by: Deborah Olin

Posted on April 26, 2015
Brooklyn, Christianity, Flyer people, Holidays, Jews, Judaism, Questions, Women

…As Abraham Said to Isaac.

Jewish guy at bar: Yeah, I'd say that I am pretty religious.
Guy with him: Oh, so do you keep kosher?
Jewish guy at bar: Oh, no, that's sooo expensive.

–Toad Hall, SoHo

Overheard by: Christian Johnson