Principal: And can anyone tell me what is so significant about Barack Obama becoming president today?
Five-year-old: He's the first brown president.
–P.S. 290
Overheard by: TA who hears everything
Principal: And can anyone tell me what is so significant about Barack Obama becoming president today?
Five-year-old: He's the first brown president.
–P.S. 290
Overheard by: TA who hears everything
Exasperated hipster chick on cell, rolling eyes: Well, you probably should have known. I mean, I told you yesterday it was a terrible idea to go out and get wasted the night before you work with cadavers…
–83rd & 1st
Overheard by: i’ll remember that for next time…
Little boy pointing to top of Trump Tower: If I fell off of that, I would die!
–Trump Tower
Overheard by: Horrified
Suit to another: … So at, like, four a.m. this morning I rolled over to feel her, and she was, like, dead.
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: Glad I’m not sleeping with him
Old lady on cell: Well, I may be dead by then, so it might be a waste of your money.
–Fairway, 73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Jessie
Man on cell: … Yeah, but wouldn’t my witness getting killed be bad?
–Key Food, Kew Gardens Hills, Queens
Overheard by: kilbasi
Third grader: Miss Hannah, let’s make a deal — if you give me an ax, I’ll give you 10 corpses.
–PS 41
Overheard by: Student Teacher
Catholic pre-K teacher: On Good Friday bad men killed Jesus and he died.
Four-year-old boy: Who killed Jesus?! I will kill him with my gun!
–Queens Catholic Elementary School
Overheard by: Sophia
(six-year-old boy tries to cross street against traffic)
Father, grabbing boy's hand: Whoa, little man! That's dangerous!
Six-year-old boy: Daddy, I eat danger for breakfast.
–Ocean & Newkirk, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Well I eat razors and nails.
Son: Mom, are the bears in the zoo tame?
Mom: No, just depressed.
–Herald Square
Overheard by: PSJ
Elementary schooler #1: Next week you can come and sleep over. And you know what I’m gonna do?
Elementary schooler #2, quivering with excitement: No, what?
Elementary schooler #1: The same thing as last time! [Both start giggling.]
–F train
Overheard by: I wish they could quit that
Hyperactive seven-year-old: Mom! Let me lick your ear! Come here, let me suck it!
Disgusted mother: Boy, I ain't your girl!
–2 Train
Teacher: Some of the answer choices people picked were really out there. I probably could've put peanut butter and jelly, and people would think, "Oh, damn, I'm hungry, I should pick that."
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Student
Teacher: Guys, no matter what happens, if you're absent on a test day you must bring in a note! I don't care if you're walking to school and suddenly the ground opens up and you're sucked into candyland–I need a note!
–LaGuardia High School
Overheard by: a note of chocolate?
Acoustics teacher: This only emphasizes how little I know about acoustics. Or rather, how little is known about acoustics.
–Cooper Union, Astor Place
Overheard by: a student is only as good as his t eacher
Teacher to little boy: You ain't gonna die just cause your leg got sprinkled on!
–L Train
Overheard by: Misshellee
Principal: I can see what you're doing…with this bouncing and the little hand on your hip…you're trying to undermine my authority with your bad posture, I can see exactly what you think of my administration.
–Bard High School Early College
Mother, to four-year-old boy who has just slapped a little girl: Why did you do that?! Give me a reason right now. I demand a reason, now!
Four-year-old boy: I have to control her.
–East Broadway
Running little kid #1: What kind of cheese do you like? Cheese or cheddar?
Running little kid #2: What's the difference?
–Knickerbocker Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
