Girl #1: How was babysitting yesterday?
Girl #2: Pretty good, but all of a sudden, in the middle of the park, the kid I was watching begins to breastfeed her doll… (silence) I'm not kidding.
Girl #1: Wow, that's fucked up.
–Barneys Co-Op, Spring St
Girl #1: How was babysitting yesterday?
Girl #2: Pretty good, but all of a sudden, in the middle of the park, the kid I was watching begins to breastfeed her doll… (silence) I'm not kidding.
Girl #1: Wow, that's fucked up.
–Barneys Co-Op, Spring St
Small child #1: But I don't want to be a cop! I want to be a robber!
Small child #2: Too bad, you have to be a cop.
Small child #1: Why can't we all just be robbers, then we can steal stuff and no one can catch us?
Small child #2: Because, stupid… that's how it is! Robbers and cops! It's no fun to be a robber if there aren't any cops to chase you!
–Outside Brooklyn Church
Child #1: Daddy! You’ll fall backwards!
Dad: What?
Child #1: You’ll fall backwards!
Dad: No, I won’t.
Child #2: Or we’ll push you!
–Belvedere Castle
Two-year-old, pointing to Citibank: That's my bank!
–7th Ave & President St, Park Slope
Overheard by: But who's your insurance carrier?
Nine-year old boy on cell: Well, you know what? Fuck you! I'm going home! (slams cell shut and begins strutting across parking lot)
–Parking Lot, Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: WTF????
Ten-year-old girl in bathing suit to seven-year-old girl: Stop touching my ass. Whore!
–Park, Astoria
Little girl to group of little girls: Raise your hand if you're allergic to penicillin!
–R Train
Overheard by: cole
Little girl to friends, pointing at platform: That's where hobos live!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
Three-year-old boy, eating hamburger: Cock cock cock cock!
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Alexis from Texas
Kid in cart at end of dairy aisle as man he came in with goes down aisle: Ssomeone's gonna take me! Someone's take me!
–Stop & Shop, Kingsbridge, Bronx
Overheard by: Krisztina
Little Asian boy: Mommy, is it true that the world is run by giants who plug it in and make it spin?
Mom: Where did you hear that?
Little Asian boy: I made it up.
–N train
Overheard by: Harmony
Six-year-old daughter, looking at jewelry with her father: Daddy, do you wear jewelry?
Father: No.
Daughter: Mommy wears jewelry.
Father: Well, I'm not mommy. Unless you see a crucifix behind my head.
–Macy's
Boy, holding fistful of brown substance to mom's face: Smell it!
Mom: No.
Boy: Smell it!
Mom: No.
Boy: Smell it!
Mom: No.
–W 12th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: NYC Maven
Young Hispanic mother, on Disney princess dresses: So, sweetie, which one do you like the best?
Three-year-old girl: I like Jasmine's.
Young Hispanic mother: Oh yeah, that one's sexy.
Three-year-old girl: Seeeeeeexy.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Marina
Tourist chick: He’s not gay, he’s just neurotic!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Scott
Girl: He’s not gay, he just has a lot of feelings!
–Grand Central
Hipster on cell: Yo, I want to tell you something. I do not want to go down on everyone… Well, I’m not gay, so that cuts it in half right there.
–17th & 8th
Suit to himself: Thanks, but I’m not gay!
–45th & 6th
Overheard by: Alisa
Little boy sitting with haggard-looking mom singing to the tune of Pinky and the Brain song: My penis, my penis is not gay, gay, gay, gay, gay!
–1 train
Overheard by: wondering what network plays reruns of Pinky and the Brain
Little girl (sad and upset): You guys always go to my favorite restaurants when I’m not there… like Pizzeria Uno.
Mom (annoyed): Just because you’re not there doesn’t mean we can’t do it.
–Mercer & 3rd
Overheard by: Sizzle
