Latinos

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Count Anal

Girl on cell: I don't know what it is with me and virgins. I think I've collected like four virgin scalps.

–Q58 Bus

Overheard by: Tom

Cashier, screaming to friend cashier: But why do you have to tell everyone that he's the guy who popped my cherry?

–72nd & 1st

Overheard by: tomas

Ghetto girl: If you got finger-popped, you ain't no virgin.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: Jake M

Teen boy on cell: Of course I don't have any kids! Girl, you know I'm pure–like water in Africa.

–Manhattan Ave & 123rd St.

Overheard by: CreativeBunny

Hispanic girl, loudly to a group of friends : I mean, I'm still a virgin and I have three STDs!

–Ave C

After the Fistfight, an Ethnic Mismatch Comedy Started Production

Black receptionist: Carlos De Jesus George? Are you here?
Latino receptionist: It’s not pronounced ‘De Je-zus George,’ but ‘De He-sus Hor-he.’
Black receptionist: Excuse me? What are you saying? This clearly says ‘Carlos De Jesus George.
Latino receptionist: No mother would name their son Jesus. And besides, that’s not the correct pronunciation in Spanish.
Black receptionist: What? Oh, girl, you know I don’t speak those words.

–Doctor’s office, 15th & 1st

Like Having a Threesome Where at Least One of the Guys Is Competent

Latina #1: That was the worst movie ever.
Latina #2: It was, kinda. But we saw the other one for free.

–Regal Movie Theater, Union Square

Overheard by: A&P

I Just Can’t Master the Teeth Clench and Air of Dissipation

Latina #1: So, this professor went to Yale and shit and he, like, expects us to be Yale material.
Latina #2: I know, I be hatin’ that.

–Locker room, Hunter College

Overheard by: embarrassed to go here

No, She’s Just Blind

Latina girl with empty seat next to her: This whole ride nobody’s sat down in this seat. This bus is gonna be packed before a white person sits in this seat.

Three stops later, a white girl sits down in the seat.

Latina girl, approvingly: Gangsta.

–M15 bus

Overheard by: Emily Duncanson

Not Counting the Two Hands

Black dude: Yo, you shoulda seen this baby. It was like 42 inches long.
Spanish chick: Yo, no way. That’s like almost 2 feet.

–Q train

To Be Fair, a Lot Of Us Would Like to Forget About Connecticut

Skinny white girl: Okay, so you know how they're always saying “the Tri-State area”?
Hispanic friend: Yeah.
Skinny white girl: They mean New York, New Jersey, and Atlantic City right?
Hispanic friend: I think so…

–Nail Salon, Kew Gardens

…For When I Go Predator-Trolling

Young Hispanic mother, on Disney princess dresses: So, sweetie, which one do you like the best?
Three-year-old girl: I like Jasmine's.
Young Hispanic mother: Oh yeah, that one's sexy.
Three-year-old girl: Seeeeeeexy.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Marina

That Depends on Which One is Fatter

Asian girl: But see, pretty people don’t look for people who are gorgeous. If you’re good looking, you don’t need to look for someone cute. You don’t need to look for more of that.
Hispanic girl: Mm-hmm.
Asian girl: You know, you look for a complement to you in a relationship.
Hispanic girl: So which one of us is the ugly one?

–14th & 3rd

Someone Who Should've Learned Spanish Instead Of Latin

Hispanic construction man to hot girl passing by: Ay! Qué linda!
Hot girl: Who's Linda?

–33rd b/w 8th & 9th

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