It’s Not You, It’s Wednesday One-liners

Hipster chick: I am so glad my ex-boyfriend and I have become friends again. I mean, I know he sued me and everything, but it just feels so good.

–Brooklyn Lyceum

Posted on April 26, 2006
Hipsters, JAPs, Jobs & Careers, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Park Slope, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Violence

They’re Unstoppable on Turf

Store guy: Ha! Nice scooter.
Girl: At least I don’t work at Foot Locker, asshole.
Store guy: At least I don’t wear plaid and play lesbian softball.

–Delancey & Allen

Posted on April 6, 2006
Anger Management, Fashion, Jobs & Careers, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Queers, Sports, Travel

Rapunzel’s Wednesday One-liners

Bag lady: Hey, you guys, can you help me out? I’m really hungry!…You need a dye job, you know! Your roots are showing.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Drew

Posted on April 5, 2006
Anger Management, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Drinking & Drunk People, Fashion, Fordham, Friendship, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Hobos, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Pop Culture, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Staten Island, Stupidity, The Bronx, Times Square, TV, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-liners Turn It Up a Notch

Teen girl: God, you are so self-conscious sometimes I want to punch you in the face.

–A train

Overheard by: Niki

Posted on March 29, 2006
Anger Management, Asians, Brooklyn, Health and Hygiene, Kink, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Relationships, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Staten Island Ferry, Subway conductors, Teens, Thugs, Trains Not Subway, Violence

Wednesday One-liners Are on the Other Line

Construction guy: Well, she didn’t sound Chinese over the phone.

–Fulton & William

Posted on March 22, 2006
Asians, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dating, Etiquette, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Masturbation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Parents, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Retail Therapy, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Parve Wednesday One-liners

Bouncer: You see, the schlemiel is the guy who spills his soup in a restaurant. The schlimazel is the guy who has the soup spilled on him.

–1st & A

Guy: Well, what color was this Jew?

–Fort Greene

Woman on cell: …That’s just so not my thing. I am not that kind of Jew, Larry, okay?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Nicole

Lady lawyer: This is a disaster. They should never put non-Jews in charge of the catering.

–Office, Rockefeller Plaza

Chick: Come to think of it, all of my Jewish friends went to summer camp. Isn’t that kind of ironic though; Jews at camp?

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Amanda

Teen boy: I want to be Jewish when I grow up.

–A train

Overheard by: drewseph

Guy on cell: You deserve a gold Jewish Star of David!…Did you swallow?…Yeah, that’s true, one step at a time.

–Astoria

Overheard by: SEM

Posted on March 22, 2006
Alphabet City, Bars & Clubs, Bouncers, Food, Lower East Side, Yiddish

What’s in a Name, Wednesday One-liners?

Receptionist lady: Don’t you be sayin’ my whole name; I’m on America’s Most Wanted!

–NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, West 168th Street

Overheard by: supermerm

Posted on March 15, 2006
Asians, Bronx Science, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Etiquette, Fast Times at New York High, Ghetto Chicks, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Hospitals, Lower East Side, Manhattan, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Staten Island, Teens, The Bronx, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Hobo Hits Bottom

Hobo: Do you have any spare change?
Guy #1: No.
Hobo: Fuck you, you fuckin’ faggot.
Guy #2: Actually, he’s the straight one, and you should be nicer if you expect people to give you money.
Hobo: Fuckin’ faggot, you ain’t got nothin on me!

–2nd Avenue station

Posted on March 10, 2006
Anger Management, Hobos, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Money & Class

Lower East Side

Just Stay on Message, Man