WASP man: Yeah. I suffered in jail for 16 years with my first wife. My second wife died of cancer after 5 years. I’ve been married to this one a year and a half…Two out of three’s not bad; if this were baseball, I’d be making a mint.
–A train
Overheard by: Lia
Woman: Well, he should just get over it. Who doesn’t have a mother who died?
–MOMA cafeteria
Overheard by: Deborah Freeman
Suit on cell: It’s sex: somebody’s always taking advantage of someone else…Oh shit, this girl just gave me a look. That’s gonna be on Overheard tomorrow, I just know it.
–45th & Lexington
Overheard by: No, not her
Guy: It’s not that I’m against marriage. I mean, I like weddings.
–Sammy’s Roumanian Steakhouse, Chrystie Street
Mom: So why didn’t you come to dinner?
Dad: I don’t like you.
–44th & 9th
Overheard by: puppy
Guy: Dad, you had to see this broad; she must have been 200 to 250.
Dad: Like you’re some prize. You are 40, divorced, have 3 kids and live at home with your parents.
–68th & York
Overheard by: Anthony DiGangi
Dad: Don’t wipe your hands on me! What’s wrong with you? Megan’s father only got 25 years after she went missing! And it’s not like I’m in a rush to get home to your mother!
Little boy: What?
Dad: …That was a messed-up thing to say, wasn’t it?!
–L train
Dad: You see that? Isn’t that beautiful?
Little boy: No. It’s stupid.
Dad: Huh? Come here, sit down. Don’t ever say something like that, okay? You know what happens when you say that’s stupid?
He slaps him lightly on the wrists.
Dad: You don’t want that, do you? Go look at it again and tell me what you see…Well, what do you see?…Is it beautiful?
Little boy: Yeah.
Dad: Okay.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: David D.
Mark Riley: We only got two rubbers? What’s up?
The Overheard staff was on Air America Radio to tape an interview. A cell phone goes off. Our publisher checks his. Our editor checks his. The producer and the sound guy look at theirs.
Mark Riley: Maybe it’s mine. Oh shit, it’s my wife!
He picks up.
Mark Riley on cell: …We’re filming I Love Lucy. What’s the problem?
–Air America studios, 20th & 6th
Overheard by: Thanks for having us!
Guy: Yeah, that’s the first thing I learned when I moved here: don’t eat street meat, it’s probably pigeon or something.
Girl #1: Yeah, I wish I could get my husband to stop eating it.
Girl #2: I don’t care what kind of meat it is as long as it’s in my mouth.
Girl #1: That’s my sister; she’s looking for a hook-up.
Girl #2: No, I’m not!
Guy: I’m married.
–Irving Plaza, Irving Place
Overheard by: Johnny Tremain
Drunk guy: Don’t you fuck with me!
Sober woman: What?
Drunk guy: You sleep with a different guy every night!
Sober woman: I do not. What are you talking about?
Drunk guy: You love…me. You want to marry…me.
Sober woman: This is ridiculous. I’ve had enough. I don’t have to take this anymore. Goodbye!
She leaves. He turns to the next table.
Drunk guy: Yeah, did you see that girl who just left? I just dumped her. Can I buy you two a drink?
–Rosie O’Grady’s, 7th Avenue
