Salesgirl #1: It smells like berries.
Salesgirl #2: That's just, like, the normal Vicodin smell.
–Park Slope
Salesgirl #1: It smells like berries.
Salesgirl #2: That's just, like, the normal Vicodin smell.
–Park Slope
Lady suit: I can’t keep coming here to get my prescription filled. They’re beginning to recognize me.
Suit: So what?
Lady suit: So, what if I get in trouble?
Suit: Why would you get in trouble? You have a prescription from a doctor.
Lady suit: If you say so. Oh, shit, I forgot to put the date on this.
–Duane Reade, 89th & Columbus
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
Gay guy #1: I would go crazy if my mom died, I would be on Vicodin.
Gay guy #2: You are on Vicodin.
Gay guy #1: I know.
–D Train
Old bag lady: …but once they stick the epidural in, they can just reach in and pull it out like that!
The very pregnant teenager sitting next to her did not respond…
–R train
Man on cell: Hello?…Yeah, I’m at the movies…Yeah, I know…I’m in the fucking theater!…I don’t care if she needs brain surgery, I’m at the movies!
–Loews 19th Street East
Professor: Apologies to everyone in advance, I seem to have the plague this week.
Student: Are you contagiously ill, or have you been on antibiotics for at least twenty-four hours?
Professor: No, not contagiously ill. It's nothing like H1N1 or anything, not that kind of plague. It's more of a the-crops-are-failing-and-women-are-giving-birth-to-stillborn-babies type of plague. Yeah.
–Fordham University Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Admiring Student
Professor: So I told my grad students they could have an A if they earned it, or if they beat me in a 12-minute cage fight.
–Fordham Universityy
Israeli politics professor, after class: There's enough Tylenol out there to take care of your hangovers after Purim. So, all your sorry little asses better be in this class at three o'clock, Wednesday afternoon.
–Yeshiva University
English professor: Yeah, the end of the poem relates to the beginning. Every good poem has a return… just like a good walk.
–Hunter college
Professor: Of course there was marital harmony! As we all know, the family who cuts drugs together, stays together.
–Fordham Law School
Overheard by: EntertainedStudent
Professor: An example of synecdoche would be, "get your ass over here." You want all of them, not just their ass. But sometimes, you do just want their ass. And we all know how that goes. But that sort of thing doesn't happen in a classroom… usually.
–NYU
Overheard by: queenofscots
Hot black girl: Where did summer go? Now we're all back to wearing glasses and snorting Adderall… or taking it with water.
–24th St & 3rd Ave
Guy to friend: If I just gave up speed I'd totally be getting more ass.
–Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Jack
Guy to another: Yeah, so you take a gram of coke, then mix it with a ground-up Xanax, then mash up an E. Then you put it all into pill form, and down it with a Sparks!
–N Train
Architecture professor: Everything in moderation… except for heroin. Heroin, you go for the gusto.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Denali
Med student guy #1: Wait up, you’re saying that nearsighted means you can’t see far? But it should, like, mean that you can’t see near.
Med student guy #2: Yeah, I know, it’s like backwards or something.
–Columbia-Presbyterian Medical Center, West 168th Street
Middle-aged actress #1: I just spent six thousand dollars on chemotherapy for my 13-year-old cat.
Middle-aged actress #2: Oh, I have a great homeopathic vet. What kind of cancer did she have?
Middle-aged actress #1: Breast cancer. She had a full mastectomy.
–Bank St & 8th Ave
