Woman: You'll need to refrain from grabbing my boobs the entire time I'm in labor.
(long pause)
Man: I'm not making any promises.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman: You'll need to refrain from grabbing my boobs the entire time I'm in labor.
(long pause)
Man: I'm not making any promises.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Ladle
20-something metrosexual: She just uses my penis whenever she wants.
Middle-aged man eating eclair: Mmm-hmm.
20-something metrosexual: Like, last weekend she used me as a rebound fuck.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Amused Straphanger
Gay guy, angrily looking at woman eating sausages: And that is why I hate lesbians!
–Gay Pride Parade
Man on cell: I went to San Francisco last month to find me a lesbian girlfriend.
–Big Apple BBQ
Overheard by: skibs
Angry lady to another: Why would I have sex with another woman?
–Greenwich Village
Hobo on platform: Men… do not have sex with women! Any man who has sex with a woman should be arrested. Women do not like sex–women are all lesbians!
–7 Train
Crazy hobo to young girls on bench: You girls are a box full of lesbians!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Daphne
Little boy to father, watching NYPD officers standing outside on horseback: Shit, yo! The cops is here!
–W 42nd St
Overheard by: Nikki
Loudspeaker on police car to pedestrians: We have sidewalks in New York. Try using them!
–Chinatown
NYC cop to pushy tourist: Don't touch me, I have no answers for you.
–Columbus Circle
Man to cop: When are you gonna learn that, man? People suck!
–Grand Central Station
Cop on horseback to pedestrian horse admirer: Don't get any closer to the horse, unless you want rabies.
–3rd St & Thompson
Overheard by: Heather
50-something rugged man to book-reading lady: Oh, hey! Great to see you reading a book. You know everyone these days is reading a twatter.
Book-reading lady: Thanks? (exits train)
–E Train
Woman: You mean you didn't like having sex with her?
Man: Well, I mean, she was just too… jazzy afterwards.
Woman: Oh, I know. Don't worry, that's just how she is. I thought it was weird at first, too.
Man: Excuse me, when did you start fucking my girlfriends, you little whore?!
–Madison Square Garden
Woman: I gave you my heart and you shitted on me!
Man: (mumbles almost inaudibly)
Woman: Come upstairs and stop causing a scene!
–Stoop, Ridgewood
Overheard by: Um…
Man at female stranger: Can I ask you a question? (woman just looks at him) Do you like…(pauses dramatically) mermaids? (woman crosses the street)
–Herald Square
Flamboyant man in sunglasses, after pushing his way into the closing doors: Whew, I made it, I don't have to wait 20 minutes… Where's my applause?
(two tourists applaud half-heartedly)
Flamboyant man: Thank you, thank you. Now don't you feel better now that you've applauded?
–A Train
Young suit on cell while at bar with coworkers: Yeah, I'm still at work right now, I'll call you when I'm done.
–The Dubliner Bar
Overheard by: Keekz
Young woman on cell: Hi, dad… Yeah, I'm in New York… Yes, I'm at Grand Central, I just got off the train.
–JFK Taxi Stand
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Earnest man on cell: Yes, no, I'm driving there. I'll be there in ten minutes. What? That's a passenger. Ten to twelve minutes… Hello? I can't talk, I don't have a headset.
–B Train
Overheard by: Emily
Skanky girl on cell walking down street at fairly slow pace: I'm like, running.
–7th Ave & 47th St
Overheard by: Serena
