Two-year-old girl runs up to Indian Sikh with grey beard and purple turban.
Toddler: Santa! Look mommy, Santa! Hi Santa!
Mom: She … Likes your hat.
–Lillian’s Pizza, Forest Hills
Overheard by: Ethan
Two-year-old girl runs up to Indian Sikh with grey beard and purple turban.
Toddler: Santa! Look mommy, Santa! Hi Santa!
Mom: She … Likes your hat.
–Lillian’s Pizza, Forest Hills
Overheard by: Ethan
Four-year-old boy: I’m tired.
Serious mom: You can’t be tired. It’s Halloween.
–95th & 3rd
Overheard by: acep
Mom about baby crying in stroller: Ugh, I gotta go feed him.
Friend: You want me to do it?
Mom: Um, I breastfeed.
Friend: I could give it a whirl.
–Washington Square Park
Woman on cell, loudly: No, no, my baby's getting fixed that day!
–5th Ave
Yuppie thug in three-piece suit, loudly on cell while riding escalator: So you sayin' it's mines? How you know it's mines? Naw naw, how you know? Bitch, kiss my ass! If they ain't been no muh-fuckin DNA test, then they ain't been no baby sprung up outta my dick! I ain't no adoption agency!
–Borders, Penn Station
Overheard by: IJustWanttoBrowseMadonna'sBrother'sTell-AllinPeace
20-something male on cell: What did I tell you about having sex with people who have babymama problems? That's why I gave up my crush on Bristol Palin.
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Topical
Black lady with stroller: Ohhh, no. All y'all are not fitting into this car. Stop pushin' up on my baby. Y'all need to back that shit up now. (baby starts crying) What do you want? What do you want? Are you having hot flashes? Cause I know I am. Jesus!
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Alie
Black woman: Of all his babymamas, why he alway bothering her? He has all these babymamas and he's always bugging her. She must still be puttin' out.
–34th & Broadway
Very young pregnant woman purchasing cigarettes on: What the hell kind of difference does what you eat have on what kind of baby you have?
–Nostrand & Dean, Crown Heights
Overheard by: Siobhan
Dad throwing baseball for son: Go get it!
Mom: Your son is not a dog!
Dad: But he likes to play fetch!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: sean
Young mom, picking daughter’s nose: I see something in there!
Little girl turns head an picks own nose: I’ll get it!
Young mom, going in again: Don’t pick your nose!
–A train
Overheard by: amused
Six-year-old son, indicating sex shop: Can I?! I want to go in there!
Frazzled mother: No. Just… no.
–Christopher, between Bleecker & Hudson
Overheard by: Colleen
Mother (to son): Well, I thought you had beautiful legs, Greg.
–Lower East Side
Crazy guy: Look at you people. All y’all paying eighteen, nineteen hundred dollars rent. I pay two dollars rent! And I get a free transfer!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Heather
Smoking girl: I’m just not going to put all of this money and time into this degree and then take a job that pays less than $100,000 after I graduate. I mean, I’m just *not*.
–Outside Fayerweather Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Bored street fundraiser for the homeless: Just one penny, people. Just one penny. Blah, blah, blah.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Farley
Crazy guy: You motherfucking actors with all your fucking money and shit… I hate you… But boy did I want to be an actor when I was young.
–Outside NBC Studios, 49th & 6th
Overheard by: Ross
Frustrated booth operator, yelling at an argumentative tourist: Lady, this subway hasn’t used tokens in over seven years! And that ain’t even a token… It’s a one collar coin!
–Subway, Spring & Lafayette
Overheard by: NYC Tourists Never Cease to Amaze Me
50-something ticket collector to high school girl: Don’t worry, I didn’t forget your change. (pause) I will never forget you. (walks away)
–Metro-North Train
Mother to young daughter running down the street: Get over here before I make change outta that five dollar ass!
–168 & Broadway
(dad playing with little kids on slide, son screams)
Mom: Just a minute, honey, daddy is too busy playing with other people's children.
Dad (coming over to son): And mommy is too busy being passive aggressive.
–Central Park Playground
Overheard by: Amused Babysitter
